Help me get the bum girl....

Right, i'm thinking it's plan time...

Incase you havn't read my other thread, there is a girl I see every now and then at work that has the finest ass in the universe, and if Fenster could confirm, he would say that it is definitely, fact!

Someone suggested I take a photo to show everyone, but that's creepy.. I thought something more subtle is to find out her name and look her up on facebook.... But that game plan has been the only string in my bow for way too long now and it's time to add another weapon to the arsenal...

So i'm considering doing the least stalkerish thing, and actually try interacting with this girl....

I've played out a couple of scenario's in my head, but wouldn't mind knowing what you guys think would be best..

The background is, the only time I see her is when I go out for a cigarette at 10am. I walk out the door of the office and go through the car park out to the front of the property... SHE, waits just outside the door and either texts, or talks on her phone.. Usually I catch her before she actually gets on the call...

A) I walk past and give her a high five... Either like Mr Cool. Mr Distracted but give her a little pep up in the middle of being distracted, or Mr Smily Happy, and try to bring energy and happiness to the high five..
Pro's - It involves touch... Guys who have been chatting her up in her part of the office for the last month probably have never touched her.. So it immediately breaks a barrier towards a more solid connection. I come across as a kind of cool, fun, quirky guy.
Con's - I come across as a kind of weird, creepy, strange guy... Who gives strangers high fives.. It makes her uncomfortable and never comes out to the same spot again, specifically to avoid the "high five guy".

B) I walk past and say "Hi Darl"/"Hi Sweetie".
Pro's - Shows I am a friendly person to say Hi, but also have the confidence and comfortable enough to throw in a compliment that someone people would sound sleazy saying. Makes her feel nice about herself and likes the feeling enough to want more of it..
Con's - I actually end up coming across as a sleazy guy.. I don't use the right tone and sell it right, and she just thinks I overly want to impress her.. She wants to avoid me after this incase I try to escalate onto hitting on her.

C) Just say a genuine "hello" and try to linger a bit for a response or more.
Pro's - Hard to come across as to creepy, just sound really genuine.. Just a nice everyday guy. The natural step up from the hello smiles i've given her the last 2 times. It's a safe step closer to her.
Con's - I just come across like every other guy that thinks she's attractive and has the balls/nerve to say hello... Puts me in the same catagory as everyone else and again, thinks i'll just escalate to hitting on her and avoids me after that.. I'll feel like I let myself down by copping out a bit by just saying hello..

D) Stop and Start a conversation - "Hi how are you, how long have you worked here?" etc.
Pro's - It could quickly get us into a conversation where she starts feeling comfortable with me.. Won't be weird then after for me to say hello every time I see her, or stop and talk to her after that. Can give her high five's later or whatever and that's still okay because she's now not a stranger. Gives me a chance to learn something about her that helps me during following interactions.
Con's - She doesn't really want to talk to me at all and a full conversation is worse than the little options above. I'm walking past to have a cigarette, so I actually have to purposefully stop to talk to her, which she'll automatically realize. Again I come across like every other guy, just now i'm one of the guys with a little bit more balls than the ones who just say "hello", but still it's just ordinary chat.

E) Be creative with something more impressive -

You guys suggest something here...

Bilbo would like your thoughts... yes i'm a pussy and yes I think by thinking about it all this much, it's bound to make me uncomfortable when the time comes and because i'm so invested in this conversation or interaction, she'll pick up on it... But I thought at least it would be a bit of fun to talk about it here, and try to sell myself on taking SOME sort of action which can beat simply stalking her for her name, and being satisfied i've found her on facebook.


I will just say it to myself right now, I am not letting this turn into the previous facebook girl thread..... I've learnt from my mistakes..

She smoke?

Or just using the phone?

Walk up and be like "Yo bitch wanna fuck". Works all the time, if that fails ask if she takes it in the arse on the first date, great ice breaker.

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Originally Posted by Ghost

She smoke?

Or just using the phone?

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Just phone unfortuatenly.. And all the way over the other side of the carpark to the smokers area.. I got one shot as I walk past her to get where i'm going, or one shot on the way back in if she's still there..

Have ever said hello on your way by?

Or just stared at her ass?

I told you... Dress as a pirate, tell her that her hair is nice but her mum is a pig faced cunt.

She'll find you iresistable... Trust me, I saw a program on TV... This wormy guy was dressed as a feather and kept going on about it... He says it works all the time 60% of the time

Well Diz I think the high five and full on conversation options are rather scary. They could bomb badly if you're not a natural at pulling them off. Whatever you do has to be genuine and natural rather than forced, or else she will sense the awkwardness.

At this stage if you see her I would just smile and and say 'hey', and then just keep right on walking. You can't fuck that up and it's not something to get worked up about.

She's at work, so probably not on the pull. If she's on her phone a lot, it might be a boyfriend. Just get the first hello out the way before you do anything else.

Don't think beyond that. At least wait until you find out her name, and if she's even single before you try any high fives or imaginative efforts to seduce her.

I think you need to try and establish some key facts, single, relationship or relationship and unhappy.

Why not try chatting to her mates. Less pressure as you don't want them and you can grab info about her. Plus if you get them on side then it's half the battle won.

equal rights and all that; drop a heap of sheets of paper as she walks past; she'll help out.
Tell her something .. that her great ass made you drop all your shit. ;)

then say "Hey I was thinking about going to blah blah 'whatever'; comedy is on in Melbourne at the moment Diz you could try that, Carl Barron there you go ; "Would you be free to dine with me one evening and take in a show or something?"

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Dizaster

Right, i'm thinking it's plan time...

Incase you havn't read my other thread, there is a girl I see every now and then at work that has the finest ass in the universe, and if Fenster could confirm, he would say that it is definitely, fact!

Someone suggested I take a photo to show everyone, but that's creepy.. I thought something more subtle is to find out her name and look her up on facebook.... But that game plan has been the only string in my bow for way too long now and it's time to add another weapon to the arsenal...

So i'm considering doing the least stalkerish thing, and actually try interacting with this girl....

I've played out a couple of scenario's in my head, but wouldn't mind knowing what you guys think would be best..

The background is, the only time I see her is when I go out for a cigarette at 10am. I walk out the door of the office and go through the car park out to the front of the property... SHE, waits just outside the door and either texts, or talks on her phone.. Usually I catch her before she actually gets on the call...

A) I walk past and give her a high five... Either like Mr Cool. Mr Distracted but give her a little pep up in the middle of being distracted, or Mr Smily Happy, and try to bring energy and happiness to the high five..
Pro's - It involves touch... Guys who have been chatting her up in her part of the office for the last month probably have never touched her.. So it immediately breaks a barrier towards a more solid connection. I come across as a kind of cool, fun, quirky guy.
Con's - I come across as a kind of weird, creepy, strange guy... Who gives strangers high fives.. It makes her uncomfortable and never comes out to the same spot again, specifically to avoid the "high five guy".

B) I walk past and say "Hi Darl"/"Hi Sweetie".
Pro's - Shows I am a friendly person to say Hi, but also have the confidence and comfortable enough to throw in a compliment that someone people would sound sleazy saying. Makes her feel nice about herself and likes the feeling enough to want more of it..
Con's - I actually end up coming across as a sleazy guy.. I don't use the right tone and sell it right, and she just thinks I overly want to impress her.. She wants to avoid me after this incase I try to escalate onto hitting on her.

C) Just say a genuine "hello" and try to linger a bit for a response or more.
Pro's - Hard to come across as to creepy, just sound really genuine.. Just a nice everyday guy. The natural step up from the hello smiles i've given her the last 2 times. It's a safe step closer to her.
Con's - I just come across like every other guy that thinks she's attractive and has the balls/nerve to say hello... Puts me in the same catagory as everyone else and again, thinks i'll just escalate to hitting on her and avoids me after that.. I'll feel like I let myself down by copping out a bit by just saying hello..

D) Stop and Start a conversation - "Hi how are you, how long have you worked here?" etc.
Pro's - It could quickly get us into a conversation where she starts feeling comfortable with me.. Won't be weird then after for me to say hello every time I see her, or stop and talk to her after that. Can give her high five's later or whatever and that's still okay because she's now not a stranger. Gives me a chance to learn something about her that helps me during following interactions.
Con's - She doesn't really want to talk to me at all and a full conversation is worse than the little options above. I'm walking past to have a cigarette, so I actually have to purposefully stop to talk to her, which she'll automatically realize. Again I come across like every other guy, just now i'm one of the guys with a little bit more balls than the ones who just say "hello", but still it's just ordinary chat.

E) Be creative with something more impressive -

You guys suggest something here...

Bilbo would like your thoughts... yes i'm a pussy and yes I think by thinking about it all this much, it's bound to make me uncomfortable when the time comes and because i'm so invested in this conversation or interaction, she'll pick up on it... But I thought at least it would be a bit of fun to talk about it here, and try to sell myself on taking SOME sort of action which can beat simply stalking her for her name, and being satisfied i've found her on facebook.


I will just say it to myself right now, I am not letting this turn into the previous facebook girl thread..... I've learnt from my mistakes..

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Sorry mate, I don't wish to offend, but forget all the game plans and stratagies.

Be a man, or me importantly be THE man walk up to her bold as brass and start a conversation. Build a repor over a couple of days of consecutive conversations make her laugh, listen to watch she has to say (if anything) and then ask her if she wants to go and have lunch with you in the middle of the working day. From there ask her on an evening date.

Bottom line is don't show that you are in awe of her or her ass, and don't spend too long on the conversations before taking her out other wise you're in the friend zone.

I wish you all the best, I'm sure you'll get your ass.

whatever happened to good old fashioned approaches down a dark alleyway ;D;D;D

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Originally Posted by HattonTheHammer

whatever happened to good old fashioned approaches down a dark alleyway ;D;D;D

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haha Nightstalker style

Haha, Diz, it was my idea to take a photograph of her ass. That was in no way a game plan for you to get a piece of the action. Simply a way for us to see a great ass. Greatness and beauty are always to be admired. Now don't be greedy and get the camera out..... Ha....

On a serious note, before I met my wife, I had fallen totally in love with a girl who used to get my train to work. Shit, i'm sure everybody who rides a train to work has a girl he loves you know. All trains have em. Anyway. I'm a pussy when it comes to women and it took me ages to even mention anythin. I used to dress pretty sharp for work and look fairly decent, so thought I had a chance. Thats the first thing you need to convince yourself of and be confident about, YOU HAVE A CHANCE. I can't actually imagine you looking like anything other than the guy in your avatar, whether thats true or not i don't know. beside the point. The ice needs to be broken for sure.

You could say to her that Mobile phones are bad for your brain, she should take up cigarette breaks instead, its healthier, as a joke and then offer her a cig. Then say its just a joke. I always seemed to find that girls love a guy that can make them laugh, as laughing is one of the greatest things in the world, everyone loves it when it happens, it makes em feel good for sure. DO YOU WANT TO MAKE HER FEEL GOOD Diz...... Get in there... Think of something funny but don't practice it too much. We've all seen Dumb and Dumber where Jim Carey practices his approach line too much and it comes out all wrong. You don't wanna be tellin her you'd like to fuck a school boy now... haha....

Shit that was long... Sorry

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Snakey

Walk up and be like "Yo bitch wanna fuck". Works all the time, if that fails ask if she takes it in the arse on the first date, great ice breaker.

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:confused:


Who are you?

I suggest you find her Facebook profile and then get Bilbo to contact her on your behalf :p.

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Originally Posted by CFH

I suggest you find her Facebook profile and then get Bilbo to contact her on your behalf :p.

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That worked out well for me. A year on and Kim and I are still good friends now, I'm even friends with her ex on facebook now :p

http://www.unclez.net/

Go there, then join a gym.

If she hasn't shot you a smile by now she isn't attracted to you, so if you stop to talk to her and you don't even know her she will probably just wonder who the fuck you are.

You must know someone who knows her? find out where she goes out partying and run into her there - everyone is more approachable when they are out.

She is probably on her phone all lunch so she looks busy and people will leave her alone!

If you are desperate to talk to her though, you said she is always on her mobile phone? just ask her if he signal is acting up today... just to get her talking, follow up with what network she's on or something? give her your name and just start talking - don't get sucked into mobile phone convo though she will just think your boring!

I'd go for the accidental meeting out side of work though...

I think she is a sex chat operator. Putting in extra shifts in her lunch!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Hornfinger

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Dizaster

Right, i'm thinking it's plan time...

Incase you havn't read my other thread, there is a girl I see every now and then at work that has the finest ass in the universe, and if Fenster could confirm, he would say that it is definitely, fact!

Someone suggested I take a photo to show everyone, but that's creepy.. I thought something more subtle is to find out her name and look her up on facebook.... But that game plan has been the only string in my bow for way too long now and it's time to add another weapon to the arsenal...

So i'm considering doing the least stalkerish thing, and actually try interacting with this girl....

I've played out a couple of scenario's in my head, but wouldn't mind knowing what you guys think would be best..

The background is, the only time I see her is when I go out for a cigarette at 10am. I walk out the door of the office and go through the car park out to the front of the property... SHE, waits just outside the door and either texts, or talks on her phone.. Usually I catch her before she actually gets on the call...

A) I walk past and give her a high five... Either like Mr Cool. Mr Distracted but give her a little pep up in the middle of being distracted, or Mr Smily Happy, and try to bring energy and happiness to the high five..
Pro's - It involves touch... Guys who have been chatting her up in her part of the office for the last month probably have never touched her.. So it immediately breaks a barrier towards a more solid connection. I come across as a kind of cool, fun, quirky guy.
Con's - I come across as a kind of weird, creepy, strange guy... Who gives strangers high fives.. It makes her uncomfortable and never comes out to the same spot again, specifically to avoid the "high five guy".

B) I walk past and say "Hi Darl"/"Hi Sweetie".
Pro's - Shows I am a friendly person to say Hi, but also have the confidence and comfortable enough to throw in a compliment that someone people would sound sleazy saying. Makes her feel nice about herself and likes the feeling enough to want more of it..
Con's - I actually end up coming across as a sleazy guy.. I don't use the right tone and sell it right, and she just thinks I overly want to impress her.. She wants to avoid me after this incase I try to escalate onto hitting on her.

C) Just say a genuine "hello" and try to linger a bit for a response or more.
Pro's - Hard to come across as to creepy, just sound really genuine.. Just a nice everyday guy. The natural step up from the hello smiles i've given her the last 2 times. It's a safe step closer to her.
Con's - I just come across like every other guy that thinks she's attractive and has the balls/nerve to say hello... Puts me in the same catagory as everyone else and again, thinks i'll just escalate to hitting on her and avoids me after that.. I'll feel like I let myself down by copping out a bit by just saying hello..

D) Stop and Start a conversation - "Hi how are you, how long have you worked here?" etc.
Pro's - It could quickly get us into a conversation where she starts feeling comfortable with me.. Won't be weird then after for me to say hello every time I see her, or stop and talk to her after that. Can give her high five's later or whatever and that's still okay because she's now not a stranger. Gives me a chance to learn something about her that helps me during following interactions.
Con's - She doesn't really want to talk to me at all and a full conversation is worse than the little options above. I'm walking past to have a cigarette, so I actually have to purposefully stop to talk to her, which she'll automatically realize. Again I come across like every other guy, just now i'm one of the guys with a little bit more balls than the ones who just say "hello", but still it's just ordinary chat.

E) Be creative with something more impressive -

You guys suggest something here...

Bilbo would like your thoughts... yes i'm a pussy and yes I think by thinking about it all this much, it's bound to make me uncomfortable when the time comes and because i'm so invested in this conversation or interaction, she'll pick up on it... But I thought at least it would be a bit of fun to talk about it here, and try to sell myself on taking SOME sort of action which can beat simply stalking her for her name, and being satisfied i've found her on facebook.


I will just say it to myself right now, I am not letting this turn into the previous facebook girl thread..... I've learnt from my mistakes..

---

Sorry mate, I don't wish to offend, but forget all the game plans and stratagies.

Be a man, or me importantly be THE man walk up to her bold as brass and start a conversation. Build a repor over a couple of days of consecutive conversations make her laugh, listen to watch she has to say (if anything) and then ask her if she wants to go and have lunch with you in the middle of the working day. From there ask her on an evening date.

Bottom line is don't show that you are in awe of her or her ass, and don't spend too long on the conversations before taking her out other wise you're in the friend zone.

I wish you all the best, I'm sure you'll get your ass.

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;D reading between the lines.

Its all about the line (or curve) of the bottom.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by HattonTheHammer

whatever happened to good old fashioned approaches down a dark alleyway ;D;D;D

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Exactly! Just go up and say " excuse me sweetheart, can you tell me if my handkercheif smells like chloroform :-X

Quote:

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Originally Posted by CFH

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Snakey

Walk up and be like "Yo bitch wanna fuck". Works all the time, if that fails ask if she takes it in the arse on the first date, great ice breaker.

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:confused:


Who are you?

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Im ICBs alt account

Snakey you had a birthday thread in the off topic board, but it was under some other b day heading.Did you see it?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by BIG H

Quote:

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Originally Posted by HattonTheHammer

whatever happened to good old fashioned approaches down a dark alleyway ;D;D;D

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Exactly! Just go up and say " excuse me sweetheart, can you tell me if my handkercheif smells like chloroform :-X

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hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha - I love that

I bird went up to my mate when he was in Benidorm and asked him if he wanted to go halfers on a bastard lol; Thought that was a good line.

Ask her if she fancies a bum.

Never fails.

I was totally totally psyched to say hello to this girl today, but she wasn't there.... Morning ciggie, lunch, afternoon ciggie, no bum girl... Tomorrow will be the charm..

I've decided to go with a smile and "hello", then walk a few more steps and turn back a bit and say "how are you today?" and make sure I get a response... I feel like that is just a safe way to go up from what i've been doing which is just smiling at her...

I would love to do this big impressive thing that makes me in there straight away, but I either pull it off totally, or look like a total twat, and i'm not prepared to take the risk...

Plus I think in general I can tell my a girls face whether she's responding well to me or not... Like so many of the customer service girls from downstairs let doors slam in my face as I walk behind them... They just pretend I don't exist.. Or when I make eye contact when I walk past them in a hallway and smile they just stick their nose in the air and look annoyed that I have dared look at them...

But some girls always make an effort to smile at me or say hello even when it's an awkward situation to do so, OR they'll be going through a door a fair way ahead of me, but will still wait for me to hold it open...

The bum girl is the latter... So a nice hello will be okay.. It's more than I managed with the last girl I liked at my work who I could tell was into me but I was just a pussy and then one day she just left...

Hope bum girl aint left... will find out tomorrow hopefully..

Here's what you say....


"Look, i know you probably hear chat up lines all of the time....but, there really is a party in my pants and you are actually invited"

I don't even need to tell you what to do if that doesn't work, because it fucking will.

I would say if she is on the phone all the time, unless she is a day trader, she is probably annoying as hell.

Secondly, some wild desperate attempt is not a bad idea. As a regular poster on here, you probably don't have much of a chance so if she even talks to you.......well shit you are already playing with house money! As long as she can't get you fired I think anything is fair game.

My new fall back is to facebook her telling her that you knew her dad died a few weeks back. That one has only failed once!

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Originally Posted by boozeboxer

I would say if she is on the phone all the time, unless she is a day trader, she is probably annoying as hell.
Secondly, some wild desperate attempt is not a bad idea. As a regular poster on here, you probably don't have much of a chance so if she even talks to you.......well shit you are already playing with house money! As long as she can't get you fired I think anything is fair game.

My new fall back is to facebook her telling her that you knew her dad died a few weeks back. That one has only failed once!

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hahaha some great truth's there ;D

Ive always gone by the rule of:

If you think she fancies you, then she probably does.

Even if you think it's only a little bit, if you are thinking it, then you are safe to make a move. So after the hello, if you get the slightest twinge of acceptance, you are in!

Close while it's hot and don't forget that girls love the idea of a date, so don't be afraid to actualy ask her out for a drink. I'm happily settled, but the mrs has heaps of single girl mates round and they have accepted me as one of their own, so I get to go behind enemy lines while they discuss blokes, dates, cock sizes the lot (I never said it was pretty!)

If I was ever single again, with all the insider knowledge I've gained I would fucking kill it!

I love these kind of threads, where's the popcorn smiley...?.

Take it gradual though Diz, more chance of something positive happening.

I'm sure creating this thread has cursed me... Two days of the week has passed and she hasn't been outside at all....
It would be extremely odd for me to have any reason what so ever to go down to her customer service area (have been in there once in 2 years), so I can't make a pass by her desk... Plus how do I get to see her ass when she is sitting, so it's a double fail if the hello doesn't work...
She can slap me when I see her outside, I still get to see her ass...

I suppose the good thing is i'm still just a psyched up to talk to her, but having to wait a few days, the expectation has gone down, so hopefully she just pops up when I don't expect it and the smooth serenade of a hello just sings from my voice box into her welcoming ears..... haha


Until there is an update this thread will be going on the backburner...

Thanks for the advice guys.. Page 2 has been a lot more supportive and informative than page 1...

Side note, there is a few girls who are ALWAYS on there phone like 24/7 and I wouldn't even bother being friends with those ego maniacs.... By the fact this girl has been absent from her morning phone calls makes me assume she's not totally obsessed with being on the phone....

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Dizaster

A) I walk past and give her a high five... Either like Mr Cool. Mr Distracted but give her a little pep up in the middle of being distracted, or Mr Smily Happy, and try to bring energy and happiness to the high five..
Pro's -None
Con's - Its not the eighties. Your not Pat Sharp in the fun house with the twins and your not an American in a film having just shot something.

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Do not do that! She will turn and walk inside and think "who was that cheesy twat!"

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Dizaster

I'm sure creating this thread has cursed me... Two days of the week has passed and she hasn't been outside at all....
It would be extremely odd for me to have any reason what so ever to go down to her customer service area (have been in there once in 2 years), so I can't make a pass by her desk... Plus how do I get to see her ass when she is sitting, so it's a double fail if the hello doesn't work...
She can slap me when I see her outside, I still get to see her ass...

I suppose the good thing is i'm still just a psyched up to talk to her, but having to wait a few days, the expectation has gone down, so hopefully she just pops up when I don't expect it and the smooth serenade of a hello just sings from my voice box into her welcoming ears..... haha


Until there is an update this thread will be going on the backburner...

Thanks for the advice guys.. Page 2 has been a lot more supportive and informative than page 1...

Side note, there is a few girls who are ALWAYS on there phone like 24/7 and I wouldn't even bother being friends with those ego maniacs.... By the fact this girl has been absent from her morning phone calls makes me assume she's not totally obsessed with being on the phone....

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Right, easy. If you want it you gotta go and get it. Like I said in an earlier post, be THE MAN. Walk over there james bond style and just tell her you been down there once in two years but you decided to treck all the way down there just to say hi to her and blah blah blah ask her where/when she's having lunch that day and take the bitch out.

And if she says no etc, well who cares. You ain't got her now anyway, you're never gonna bump into her and have an awkward moment in the work place and you can stop all this will she/won't she go out with me cuz it'll be done.

Just do it. Every girl wants to be swept off her feet by some suarve prince charming. Infact tarts fantasize about it. GET IN THERE AND DO IT!

Ask her if she wants to puff on your end when she says yes it a queue to whip out your :willydance: ;D

Updates?

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Originally Posted by boozeboxer

Updates?

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I'm guessing Diz is probably sitting in a cell awaiting a hearing on his sexual assault charge.

He could probably use a good lawyer...

why not just talk to her and then ask her out do this normally... no chat up line, no inuendo nothing just do it with total confidence.

if she fancies you she will be happy to talk to you and like your confidence without the usual man inuendos or other crap.

if she does not fancy you and is not interested then fuck her she is prob a slag or a dyke anyways ;D;D;D;D

Hope this helps :)

She has gone totally MIA....

Ever since I started this thread, I have not seen her even a single time... I have the epiphany that I have seen the greatest ass in the universe, and then it never appears again..

I think most likely she was on the phone to a job agency or something talking about getting her a new job, and now she's moved on... She worked in Customer Service where they have about 40 people,,, maybe 5 of which have been there more than 6 months.. MASSSSIVVEE staff turnover, and the ones who have been there the longest, have been promoted to "team leaders", and they are the bitchiest whores I have seen....
The fact this bum girl smiled at me a lot shows she is of a good kind... The kind that doesn't last in our customer service area...

But some day i'll go for a walk through there just to see if she still works there..

:)

Dead thread otherwise...

Bummer!

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Originally Posted by 0james0

Bummer!

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I think that was the idea.

Lesson learnt Diz. You see a woman you are interested in and make a move. Hesitate and someone else steals her away or she gets fired.;D