How to gain 5kg in seven weeks?

[Gandalf]

My wife has agreed to a challenge. I say I can gain 5kg during my 7 week trip home and she thinks it is impossible whence agreeing to the challenge. If I do this I will get a prize of a thousand pounds to spend on whatever I like. It seems people like Hatton and Duran can do this easily and I suppose in some respects I do live a food deprived life a little like a boxer. However, I clearly don't work out or anything like that.

I am determined to gain a little weight for the first time in my life, so would like some advice on how to go about it. How many calories a day should I be aiming for? I am a very skinny human being, so you wouldn't think it would be that hard to add a few pounds, but I do seem to afflicted with the metabolism of a Formula One car.

Even with another 5kg, I think I would look just like a normal human being. If I was female I would likely be on the catwalk shaking my non-existent booty.

Tips on becoming an English person?

[Saddo]

shouldn't be that much of a problem shoving all the food you have missed while being away.... my tip would be to put more in your mouth than comes out of your arse.

watch super size vs super skinny... once your past the uncomfortable part of stretching the belly you will become naturally more hungry and get more in.

or if you are a smoker just pack in for the 7 weeks and watch the weight magically appear no matter what you do

[Gandalf]

Yes, I am just going to have to tell myself that it is 3 meals a day and to keep to it in a serious way. With work and everything, I sometimes skip meals and eat small meals as it is hard to prepare anything. I won't have that problem in the UK being on holiday and with everything pretty much handed on a plate. Brits are spoiled something rotten when it comes to food. It's the best place in the world for nice meals IMO. I'm going to win this bet. You watch me.

[Saddo]

Yes, I am just going to have to tell myself that it is 3 meals a day and to keep to it in a serious way. With work and everything, I sometimes skip meals and eat small meals as it is hard to prepare anything. I won't have that problem in the UK being on holiday and with everything pretty much handed on a plate. Brits are spoiled something rotten when it comes to food. It's the best place in the world for nice meals IMO. I'm going to win this bet. You watch me.

yeah mate I'm the same I eat one meal a day... its hard to eat 3 to 4 times a day and I have no idea how people do it or even fit it in

but after a week of forcing it down you will find it easy

have a good visit it will do you the world of good by making you see what your missing or confirm why you moved away

[brocktonblockbust]

ice crea, ıce cream and more ıce cream. throw ın alot of cheese and chocolate.

[Memphis]

If you win you get a grand? Money thats already yours to begin with right?

You should change the bet. I gain five kilo's and I get to riffle one up the Gary, hows that?

[Gandalf]

If you win you get a grand? Money thats already yours to begin with right?

You should change the bet. I gain five kilo's and I get to riffle one up the Gary, hows that?

Haha, that would likely get me a slap!

[AdamGB]

Eat a lot of high salt food to increase water retention and eat a lot of foods that will block your bowels and constipate you.

Make sure you're hydrated, you've eaten and not been to the toliet right before you get weighed. Easy

Big difference between gaining 5kg of cellular mass and carrying an extra 5kg on top of the scales.

PS, your wife is using reverse psychology on you, she don't want no twiggy girly man.

[Andre]

And eat your largest meal just before retiring to bed.

If when you get home from England and if you lose the bet; you can kill her and eat her,
its a win /win.

[Gandalf]

It was me ranting on about food deprivation and who suggested the bet. She just laughed at me as she thought I was on a flight of fancy. Little did she know that it was no idle declaration. I am a hungry man on a serious mission. She won't be laughing when she finds her handbag money is being spent on music equipment.

[Dia bando]

Eat a lot of high salt food to increase water retention and eat a lot of foods that will block your bowels and constipate you.

Make sure you're hydrated, you've eaten and not been to the toliet right before you get weighed. Easy

Big difference between gaining 5kg of cellular mass and carrying an extra 5kg on top of the scales.

PS, your wife is using reverse psychology on you, she don't want no twiggy girly man.

Adam that's not nice your diet will just make him full of shit.

[Saddo]

Good luck mate....she'll be well happy on your return....

[Master]

Eat all the time including snacks and crap McDonald food and do no exercise.

[Gandalf]

No way does that man eat grapes.

I am going to avoid McDonald's as I am not venturing home to get what I can get up the road and the service girls in the UK will be nothing compared to what I have seen here. Just not what I'm looking for. I'm thinking curries, kebabs and lots of home cooked muck. I will try and even it all out with plenty of fruit and some cereals.

[Gandalf]

My wife is now trying to renegotiate this agreement. I said that I am more confident than ever that she will lose and she is now having second thoughts. I am holding her to her original promise. She is now trying to impose a penalty on me for failure too. That wasn't part of the agreement. I am resolute. I will reach 78kg which will still see me as an averagely built man of my height.