Any good jokes ????

[roberto duran legend]

My pet mouse Elvis died today. He was caught in a trap.

[roberto duran legend]

When watching the Paralympics it got me wondering......
If this lot can run faster than i can,swim better than i can,
lift heavier weights than i can,why the fuck do they need to
park closer to Asda than me.

[Andre]

Bought my misses a pair of shoes and vibrator for her birthday.
If she doesnt like the shoes she can...

[roberto duran legend]

Good news for the parents of Megan Stammers- she has just passed her maths oral.

[Dia bando]

I have just come back from the Hospital, I had to take a friend to A+E
he asked me to swat a wasp on his nose.
I just happened, to have a pan shovel in my hands at the time.

[Ghost]

Bought my misses a pair of shoes and vibrator for her birthday.
If she doesnt like the shoes she can...

Just remember, when she starts to like it more...


You'r history.

[Andre]

I have shares in the plastic industry, I cant lose.

[Ghost]

I have shares in the plastic industry, I cant lose.

So you are the one that is causing problems at land fills.

[Andre]

Thats not our fault its the shonky chinese motors that give out first, not the casings.

Haha imagine the moment of each one when they eventually break down!

hahaha its the definition of frustration..

[Dia bando]

Thats not our fault its the shonky chinese motors that give out first, not the casings.

Haha imagine the moment of each one when they eventually break down!

hahaha its the definition of frustration..

Get them a good supply, of Eveready batteries.

[jemmalyn]

Catch A Rabbit

The LAPD, The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals.

The President decides to give them a test.
He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in.

They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in.

After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in.

They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear.
The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

[roberto duran legend]

I heard Megan Stammers and Jeremy Forrest were finally found in a whiskey bar.
He was on Glenfiddich, she was swallowing Teachers.

[Andre]

Thats not our fault its the shonky chinese motors that give out first, not the casings.

Haha imagine the moment of each one when they eventually break down!

hahaha its the definition of frustration..

Get them a good supply, of Eveready batteries.

I have no idea I was joking, but dont they make rechargeable or 240 volt ones?

[Dia bando]

Just cut the end off, my nob if you can help give me a bell.

[roberto duran legend]

Breaking news, a mob of dyslexic parents have just beaten up Jimmy Sommerville.