How do you deal with constant nagging?

[Gandalf]

so, the mrs wants to go to the UK and you want to stay and neither of you sound willing to compromise....so what options do you think you have?

I am not leaving. In fact just last week the wife herself put her own signature on a new 2 year lease for this place. And yet the theatrics have commenced once again.

From recent discussion/arguments it also seems that because I have my MA and all my teaching experience she isn't happy that the world hasn't just fallen upon my shoulders in a few weeks since coming back from a holiday. Apparently, I should be rolling in money in order to compensate for her not earning the UK's average wage with free housing.

What options do I have? I don't know. All I know is that life is not so good right now. Tbh, I don't really get it. The more this goes on, I don't really care. I stayed in this country to be with her and have been here for years and suddenly because she gets a chance to do something else I am expected to jump and leave all that I have built behind? It was me that spent my prime years here for her. She seems to forget all that. I could have jumped ship after my 2nd year here. I am 30. What am I supposed to do there now? I have contacts here and a relatively decent standard of living. Going home does nothing for me.

It's fucked up and I am not quite sure what to do. All I want to do is keep on going to work and teaching the kids that I teach. Tbh it's the only real happiness I have. Kids are fun and during the times that I teach I can forget that this nonsense is going on.

Mate you may have found the cause of her inner anguish there.

The thing is I was opposed to it as well! We live in a reasonably sized city, but staying here for two years means I am unable to apply for some of the better university jobs that become available. I wanted a one year contract, but she was adamant that it should be two as the rent would stay the same for 2 years. You are damned if you do and damned if you don't.

[Andre]

so, the mrs wants to go to the UK and you want to stay and neither of you sound willing to compromise....so what options do you think you have?

I am not leaving. In fact just last week the wife herself put her own signature on a new 2 year lease for this place. And yet the theatrics have commenced once again.

From recent discussion/arguments it also seems that because I have my MA and all my teaching experience she isn't happy that the world hasn't just fallen upon my shoulders in a few weeks since coming back from a holiday. Apparently, I should be rolling in money in order to compensate for her not earning the UK's average wage with free housing.

What options do I have? I don't know. All I know is that life is not so good right now. Tbh, I don't really get it. The more this goes on, I don't really care. I stayed in this country to be with her and have been here for years and suddenly because she gets a chance to do something else I am expected to jump and leave all that I have built behind? It was me that spent my prime years here for her. She seems to forget all that. I could have jumped ship after my 2nd year here. I am 30. What am I supposed to do there now? I have contacts here and a relatively decent standard of living. Going home does nothing for me.

It's fucked up and I am not quite sure what to do. All I want to do is keep on going to work and teaching the kids that I teach. Tbh it's the only real happiness I have. Kids are fun and during the times that I teach I can forget that this nonsense is going on.

Mate you may have found the cause of her inner anguish there.

The thing is I was opposed to it as well! We live in a reasonably sized city, but staying here for two years means I am unable to apply for some of the better university jobs that become available. I wanted a one year contract, but she was adamant that it should be two as the rent would stay the same for 2 years. You are damned if you do and damned if you don't.

If she cant afford the rent for two years on the place on her own wage and you are leaving your job ,she is going to feel some anguish over that you would think.
tell her" its ok baby Id never leave you in the lurch over money",then have great make up sex.

[Gandalf]

The rent is dirt cheap so no worries about any of that. And even now I am earning quite a bit more than her doing multiple freelance jobs. This job I quit was just another one of them filling up a few slots in my schedule. There should be no anguish about money whatsover.

I don't know what the problem is to be honest. I said to her "what exactly have I done wrong?". And all I get is "I don't want to talk about it. I am just miserable". That makes two, I guess.

What a load of random nonsense! Like I say it was her that said maybe I should rethink this new job after coming home shattered on monday. And I did just that!

[Howlin Mad Missy]

Have you asked her what's making her miserable?

[Saddo]

(my fees will be £50 an hour but since I'm training this is for free )

does that include... nah too predictable

" You will be leaving the door open for some other guy to buy into her bullshit".

nah she is pretty smart and comes up with some great stuff to make life very interesting

Have you asked her what's making her miserable?

come on Missy you know it aint that easy.

Yes, Missy.

I have been pretty upfront about everything. She knows that teaching is what I like and do and she knows that I have become as qualified as I have to ensure I am the best at what I do and maintain my competitiveness. I want to work hard, but I am not going to take the first job that comes along every time. This recent job was forced on me somewhat and turned out to be poorly organised. I simply wasn't going to stick with it, whence saying 'thanks, but no thanks'. I got home from work at 10pm on monday which I hadn't agreed to and the following day had my entire evenings classes cancelled last minute. I won't work those hours and I won't work with that level of disorganisation. I don't see why I am in the wrong for that.

About 3 years ago I was working a horrendous schedule teaching about 40 classes a week between 10am and 10pm Monday to Friday. I couldn't eat properly and resorted to taking sleeping pills just to put me to sleep. I was earning rather good money doing that, but I burned myself out horribly. That was when I decided to study my MA and work a lighter schedule. I made a promise to myself that I would never take on such a schedule again. If I was to carry on with this job, it would have seen on the path to the bad old days. Okay, a lot of money to throw around, but really no quality of life for me. I am not going to kill myself for money. It's not like we don't have savings and it's not as though there is any urgency where I need to jump at the first offer that comes up. However, my wife resents me and will call me lazy and say that I am holding her back. My wife has never taught a class in her life and sits in a chair everyday. She has no idea how demanding a well taught, effective class can be. And then she wants them all piled on just like that?

Nah, she can just bugger off. I've had enough of all the bullshit to be honest.

that sounds pretty bad mate hope you can sort things out.

[Howlin Mad Missy]

(my fees will be £50 an hour but since I'm training this is for free )

does that include... nah too predictable

" You will be leaving the door open for some other guy to buy into her bullshit".

nah she is pretty smart and comes up with some great stuff to make life very interesting

Have you asked her what's making her miserable?

come on Missy you know it aint that easy.

Yes, Missy.

I have been pretty upfront about everything. She knows that teaching is what I like and do and she knows that I have become as qualified as I have to ensure I am the best at what I do and maintain my competitiveness. I want to work hard, but I am not going to take the first job that comes along every time. This recent job was forced on me somewhat and turned out to be poorly organised. I simply wasn't going to stick with it, whence saying 'thanks, but no thanks'. I got home from work at 10pm on monday which I hadn't agreed to and the following day had my entire evenings classes cancelled last minute. I won't work those hours and I won't work with that level of disorganisation. I don't see why I am in the wrong for that.

About 3 years ago I was working a horrendous schedule teaching about 40 classes a week between 10am and 10pm Monday to Friday. I couldn't eat properly and resorted to taking sleeping pills just to put me to sleep. I was earning rather good money doing that, but I burned myself out horribly. That was when I decided to study my MA and work a lighter schedule. I made a promise to myself that I would never take on such a schedule again. If I was to carry on with this job, it would have seen on the path to the bad old days. Okay, a lot of money to throw around, but really no quality of life for me. I am not going to kill myself for money. It's not like we don't have savings and it's not as though there is any urgency where I need to jump at the first offer that comes up. However, my wife resents me and will call me lazy and say that I am holding her back. My wife has never taught a class in her life and sits in a chair everyday. She has no idea how demanding a well taught, effective class can be. And then she wants them all piled on just like that?

Nah, she can just bugger off. I've had enough of all the bullshit to be honest.

that sounds pretty bad mate hope you can sort things out.

That's why a coach like myself can assit!

People often find it difficult to communicate effectively because they don't know what they want, they don't know how to express it plus pesky things like their emotions, other peoples expectations get in the way.

p.s for you Saddo the cost goes up because you're a small business.