How do you deal with constant nagging?

[generalbulldog]

if only she's a member of a forum like you miles then you can read what her issues really are.

communication is one of the more important elements of a relationship and in your case it seems to have bogged down.

I agree. I've tried talking but it gets nowhere and quickly degenerates. Maybe she needs her space. After a fight I am always able to get my mood back together within minutes. She on the other hand will sulk and barely speak for a number of days.

I've had enough of trying though and will just continue to live life. If she has all these issues then she needs to deal with them. She knew who I was when she married me and if that's not good enough then that's her call. I'm not the one trying to make random changes or up and leave anywhere. She can bugger off to England for all I care right now. I would quite like the space and peace. I don't think I even like her at this point in time. I'm just sick of it.

I'm going to stop talking about it as I think I've said all I need to say. This thread has been good for a bit of venting, but it's time to be more constructive. I might start a thread highlighting all the reasons why I hate Amir Khan or something. Something useful.

My views on women and relationships has always been that of a man and his car. After taking that car out of the showroom and owning it for a few years, you will notice that the car starts having problems, it may be because of the mileage, the overuse of the engine, the paint starts fading, a lot of headaches trying to fix the problems, and you may notice that other cars/models looks much better and you want to upgrade to something else.

In other words, let her work in England and maybe she finds another English guy more to her liking in terms of wealth, status, and financial security for herself. While you on the other hand starts eyeing that cute 22 year old Korean chick that has graduated from university and is starting her career and is open to dating a more mature man that is in his early 30s and might be more compatible to you in terms of personality, plus hey it's new punani.

It's a win-win for all I say. So trade in that used car for a newer model. Hey just some VDesque advice.

[Gandalf]

The thing is that I am still pretty much the same car. I am in good nick. Even this monday a student asked me how old I was and was surprised when I said 30. He said I look 23. I am svelte, tall and from a certain angle am quite dashing. Before being married I was always the most successful with the girls because they fell for my big eyes and high nose. All my wifes coworkers comment on my beauty and how I look younger than her. Even though I am a couple of years older. So I resent the notion that I am a used car. I am ever more successful and have over the years accumulated a fair amount of wealth myself. I am just not willing to kill myself to do that now that I have don't have to. I'll work hard, but there are limits because I am a limited resource and I don't want to burn out. And I am not willing to leave here and lose the current money that I am still managing to take in.

Any faults that I have were probably worse when we first met. When I was younger I was far more eager to go out drinking, now I only do that once a week and maybe have a few midweek. I am mature about most things, I studied to maintain competitiveness, I have learned a bit of the language. In many ways I am really quite improved and less naive culturally. Our earlier fights used to be quite feisty, but these days I am quite passive. I once punched my hand through an acoustic guitar. I would never dream of harming my guitar these days. I'm the one that has matured, but she still carries on in the same pedantic, trite and unreasonable ways. She hasn't hit me in these recent fights, but at times she has even rained punches down upon me. Quite feeble punches mind you and I just cover up and pretend I am an old Jones Jr sitting on the ropes. Maybe this is a sign of her developing emotionally or else realising her punching technique hurts her hands more than me (like I say, I am all bones and elbows! ).

The idea of trading her in for a 22 year old might sound good physically, but I dread the interaction between the grown up me and another immature, potential lunatic.

[Gandalf]

Anyway, enough with this discussion. That last post was just outright gay.

There were quiet signs that she was trying to call a truce yesterday. I ordered some barbecued chicken for dinner yesterday and she used her card to pay for it and she only scowled at me a few times.

I still don't know why quitting a part time job is so bad, particularly when she was the one that suggested it and she fails completely to answer that question.

When logic fails so badly, then you have to presume there is none. I could understand it if we were struggling and trying to make ends meet, but there is nothing like that.

This little extra free time is actually a good thing because I was hoping to get a couple of papers published before the year is out. I now have the time to polish them up and try and get them submitted. Working a full schedule you simply DON'T have the time to research and write. I prefer to look at the positives and just take another P/T job when it looks right rather than jump into anything.

[Gandalf]

LOL, I have now just been offered a job in Dubai working for considerably more money than my wife was offered to go to England.

It seems we have both been offered jobs that want to tempt us away. Like her job, mine would be tax free, free nicely sized apartment and all the company benefits from the airline. It would also allow me to work with one of my best mates who I first met in Korea.

I can't believe the timing of this offer tbh. Beyond freaky. The job won't start until early next year which does actually allow me a chance to tie up all my contracts in a legit way, but at the same time I am quite happy here in Korea. But the truth is, I am earning what I am because of Visa status rather than my qualifications. This would be a chance to go somewhere new and use my qualifications in a setting that will challenge me appropriately. I am kind of tempted.

I'm half tempted to keep the offer secret and just carry on doing what I am doing, but I am half tempted to tell her too. But I also worry about the backlash if I do say something. "Oh so we can do what you want, but not what I want!". And then 10 days of no talking and back and forth. I am quite happy in Korea, but will only take work that I feel is appropriate (ie hours and pay). Staying here is what I prefer, but without a supportive wife it isn't easy. You quit a job and then spend 10 days pissing around because she is sulking. It's kind of crap.

[CFH]

LOL, I have now just been offered a job in Dubai working for considerably more money than my wife was offered to go to England.

It seems we have both been offered jobs that want to tempt us away. Like her job, mine would be tax free, free nicely sized apartment and all the company benefits from the airline. It would also allow me to work with one of my best mates who I first met in Korea.

I can't believe the timing of this offer tbh. Beyond freaky. The job won't start until early next year which does actually allow me a chance to tie up all my contracts in a legit way, but at the same time I am quite happy here in Korea. But the truth is, I am earning what I am because of Visa status rather than my qualifications. This would be a chance to go somewhere new and use my qualifications in a setting that will challenge me appropriately. I am kind of tempted.

I'm half tempted to keep the offer secret and just carry on doing what I am doing, but I am half tempted to tell her too. But I also worry about the backlash if I do say something. "Oh so we can do what you want, but not what I want!". And then 10 days of no talking and back and forth. I am quite happy in Korea, but will only take work that I feel is appropriate (ie hours and pay). Staying here is what I prefer, but without a supportive wife it isn't easy. You quit a job and then spend 10 days pissing around because she is sulking. It's kind of crap.

I took an class on second language acquisition as an elective when I was finishing my degree this summer and the prof mentioned how much money their is to be made teaching ESL in the UAE. It was actually a pretty interesting class and I've been half-assed looking into ESL teaching jobs. I doubt I'll do it though, I'm leaning towards doing a professional Master's like an MPA...

[Gandalf]

LOL, I have now just been offered a job in Dubai working for considerably more money than my wife was offered to go to England.

It seems we have both been offered jobs that want to tempt us away. Like her job, mine would be tax free, free nicely sized apartment and all the company benefits from the airline. It would also allow me to work with one of my best mates who I first met in Korea.

I can't believe the timing of this offer tbh. Beyond freaky. The job won't start until early next year which does actually allow me a chance to tie up all my contracts in a legit way, but at the same time I am quite happy here in Korea. But the truth is, I am earning what I am because of Visa status rather than my qualifications. This would be a chance to go somewhere new and use my qualifications in a setting that will challenge me appropriately. I am kind of tempted.

I'm half tempted to keep the offer secret and just carry on doing what I am doing, but I am half tempted to tell her too. But I also worry about the backlash if I do say something. "Oh so we can do what you want, but not what I want!". And then 10 days of no talking and back and forth. I am quite happy in Korea, but will only take work that I feel is appropriate (ie hours and pay). Staying here is what I prefer, but without a supportive wife it isn't easy. You quit a job and then spend 10 days pissing around because she is sulking. It's kind of crap.

I took an class on second language acquisition as an elective when I was finishing my degree this summer and the prof mentioned how much money their is to be made teaching ESL in the UAE. It was actually a pretty interesting class and I've been half-assed looking into ESL teaching jobs. I doubt I'll do it though, I'm leaning towards doing a professional Master's like an MPA...

Yes, the top jobs pay really well, but you pretty much need a masters plus experience to get them. I guess you need to adapt to the culture somewhat and also learn to deal with the weather!

ESL is always an option without the MA though. Many countries will accept a simple BA in anything and a clean background check. I don't think those people are neccessarily effective teachers though. I certainly wasn't when I started out, but if there is a demand the jobs are there.

I did a bit of research looking at ESL in the UK and it's one of the reasons I don't want to return home at all. The money simply isn't there.

[Gandalf]

I have just been given an apology and been told that she has just been a bit depressed. She thought that me earning a lot of money was one way of justifying her not been able to advance her career and I kind of let her down in that regard. Anyway all seems to be relatively peaceful again and I am going to buy dinner later. She admits that pressuring me to take the first new job that came along was wrong.

Like I say, I am always willing to work hard, but no late finishes and no random bullshit in terms of organisation. Will just take a few weeks picking and choosing to get that right.

I've no idea what to think about that Dubai offer tbh. Will have to sit and stew on that one a while.

[generalbulldog]

LOL, I have now just been offered a job in Dubai working for considerably more money than my wife was offered to go to England.

It seems we have both been offered jobs that want to tempt us away. Like her job, mine would be tax free, free nicely sized apartment and all the company benefits from the airline. It would also allow me to work with one of my best mates who I first met in Korea.

I can't believe the timing of this offer tbh. Beyond freaky. The job won't start until early next year which does actually allow me a chance to tie up all my contracts in a legit way, but at the same time I am quite happy here in Korea. But the truth is, I am earning what I am because of Visa status rather than my qualifications. This would be a chance to go somewhere new and use my qualifications in a setting that will challenge me appropriately. I am kind of tempted.

I'm half tempted to keep the offer secret and just carry on doing what I am doing, but I am half tempted to tell her too. But I also worry about the backlash if I do say something. "Oh so we can do what you want, but not what I want!". And then 10 days of no talking and back and forth. I am quite happy in Korea, but will only take work that I feel is appropriate (ie hours and pay). Staying here is what I prefer, but without a supportive wife it isn't easy. You quit a job and then spend 10 days pissing around because she is sulking. It's kind of crap.

Funny that you mentioned Dubai, since I just read an interesting article on it. Don't know how much of it is valid though, but an interesting read nonetheless.

The dark side of Dubai - Johann Hari, Commentators - The Independent

Just remember don't get into debt over there (Dubai).

[Andre]

LOL, I have now just been offered a job in Dubai working for considerably more money than my wife was offered to go to England.

It seems we have both been offered jobs that want to tempt us away. Like her job, mine would be tax free, free nicely sized apartment and all the company benefits from the airline. It would also allow me to work with one of my best mates who I first met in Korea.

I can't believe the timing of this offer tbh. Beyond freaky. The job won't start until early next year which does actually allow me a chance to tie up all my contracts in a legit way, but at the same time I am quite happy here in Korea. But the truth is, I am earning what I am because of Visa status rather than my qualifications. This would be a chance to go somewhere new and use my qualifications in a setting that will challenge me appropriately. I am kind of tempted.

I'm half tempted to keep the offer secret and just carry on doing what I am doing, but I am half tempted to tell her too. But I also worry about the backlash if I do say something. "Oh so we can do what you want, but not what I want!". And then 10 days of no talking and back and forth. I am quite happy in Korea, but will only take work that I feel is appropriate (ie hours and pay). Staying here is what I prefer, but without a supportive wife it isn't easy. You quit a job and then spend 10 days pissing around because she is sulking. It's kind of crap.

Mate ,you can have loads of wives over there. Its a win /win. Miles 1, miles won, miles 1,Miles won for as long as your imagination goes for
They know what they are doing on a personal level these Muslims.Get a tea towel around your head son and go for it.

[El Kabong]

Mate ,you can have loads of wives over there. Its a win /win. Miles 1, miles won, miles 1,Miles won for as long as your imagination goes for
They know what they are doing on a personal level these Muslims.Get a tea towel around your head son and go for it.

I totally agree...the wifey may nag you in Korea but that would be a very poor decision to nag a man in the Middle East #1 The husband can always get a new wife #2 Sharia law is not a friend to the ladies.

Buy her a burqa and say "Surprise honey! We're moving to a glorious land where you have to dress like Cousin It from The Adams Family and keep your trap shut or risk a flogging or a stoning!" ......the bad news is they may look down on you drinking alcohol, but hell you could always pick up hashish or opium....that'll do just fine!

[Andre]

Mate ,you can have loads of wives over there. Its a win /win. Miles 1, miles won, miles 1,Miles won for as long as your imagination goes for
They know what they are doing on a personal level these Muslims.Get a tea towel around your head son and go for it.

I totally agree...the wifey may nag you in Korea but that would be a very poor decision to nag a man in the Middle East #1 The husband can always get a new wife #2 Sharia law is not a friend to the ladies.

Buy her a burqa and say "Surprise honey! We're moving to a glorious land where you have to dress like Cousin It from The Adams Family and keep your trap shut or risk a flogging or a stoning!" ......the bad news is they may look down on you drinking alcohol, but hell you could always pick up hashish or opium....that'll do just fine!

HAha Ive never linked the Burka and cousin IT ! hahha