How do you deal with constant nagging?

[Gandalf]

LOL, I have now just been offered a job in Dubai working for considerably more money than my wife was offered to go to England.

It seems we have both been offered jobs that want to tempt us away. Like her job, mine would be tax free, free nicely sized apartment and all the company benefits from the airline. It would also allow me to work with one of my best mates who I first met in Korea.

I can't believe the timing of this offer tbh. Beyond freaky. The job won't start until early next year which does actually allow me a chance to tie up all my contracts in a legit way, but at the same time I am quite happy here in Korea. But the truth is, I am earning what I am because of Visa status rather than my qualifications. This would be a chance to go somewhere new and use my qualifications in a setting that will challenge me appropriately. I am kind of tempted.

I'm half tempted to keep the offer secret and just carry on doing what I am doing, but I am half tempted to tell her too. But I also worry about the backlash if I do say something. "Oh so we can do what you want, but not what I want!". And then 10 days of no talking and back and forth. I am quite happy in Korea, but will only take work that I feel is appropriate (ie hours and pay). Staying here is what I prefer, but without a supportive wife it isn't easy. You quit a job and then spend 10 days pissing around because she is sulking. It's kind of crap.

[CFH]

LOL, I have now just been offered a job in Dubai working for considerably more money than my wife was offered to go to England.

It seems we have both been offered jobs that want to tempt us away. Like her job, mine would be tax free, free nicely sized apartment and all the company benefits from the airline. It would also allow me to work with one of my best mates who I first met in Korea.

I can't believe the timing of this offer tbh. Beyond freaky. The job won't start until early next year which does actually allow me a chance to tie up all my contracts in a legit way, but at the same time I am quite happy here in Korea. But the truth is, I am earning what I am because of Visa status rather than my qualifications. This would be a chance to go somewhere new and use my qualifications in a setting that will challenge me appropriately. I am kind of tempted.

I'm half tempted to keep the offer secret and just carry on doing what I am doing, but I am half tempted to tell her too. But I also worry about the backlash if I do say something. "Oh so we can do what you want, but not what I want!". And then 10 days of no talking and back and forth. I am quite happy in Korea, but will only take work that I feel is appropriate (ie hours and pay). Staying here is what I prefer, but without a supportive wife it isn't easy. You quit a job and then spend 10 days pissing around because she is sulking. It's kind of crap.

I took an class on second language acquisition as an elective when I was finishing my degree this summer and the prof mentioned how much money their is to be made teaching ESL in the UAE. It was actually a pretty interesting class and I've been half-assed looking into ESL teaching jobs. I doubt I'll do it though, I'm leaning towards doing a professional Master's like an MPA...

[generalbulldog]

LOL, I have now just been offered a job in Dubai working for considerably more money than my wife was offered to go to England.

It seems we have both been offered jobs that want to tempt us away. Like her job, mine would be tax free, free nicely sized apartment and all the company benefits from the airline. It would also allow me to work with one of my best mates who I first met in Korea.

I can't believe the timing of this offer tbh. Beyond freaky. The job won't start until early next year which does actually allow me a chance to tie up all my contracts in a legit way, but at the same time I am quite happy here in Korea. But the truth is, I am earning what I am because of Visa status rather than my qualifications. This would be a chance to go somewhere new and use my qualifications in a setting that will challenge me appropriately. I am kind of tempted.

I'm half tempted to keep the offer secret and just carry on doing what I am doing, but I am half tempted to tell her too. But I also worry about the backlash if I do say something. "Oh so we can do what you want, but not what I want!". And then 10 days of no talking and back and forth. I am quite happy in Korea, but will only take work that I feel is appropriate (ie hours and pay). Staying here is what I prefer, but without a supportive wife it isn't easy. You quit a job and then spend 10 days pissing around because she is sulking. It's kind of crap.

Funny that you mentioned Dubai, since I just read an interesting article on it. Don't know how much of it is valid though, but an interesting read nonetheless.

The dark side of Dubai - Johann Hari, Commentators - The Independent

Just remember don't get into debt over there (Dubai).

[Andre]

LOL, I have now just been offered a job in Dubai working for considerably more money than my wife was offered to go to England.

It seems we have both been offered jobs that want to tempt us away. Like her job, mine would be tax free, free nicely sized apartment and all the company benefits from the airline. It would also allow me to work with one of my best mates who I first met in Korea.

I can't believe the timing of this offer tbh. Beyond freaky. The job won't start until early next year which does actually allow me a chance to tie up all my contracts in a legit way, but at the same time I am quite happy here in Korea. But the truth is, I am earning what I am because of Visa status rather than my qualifications. This would be a chance to go somewhere new and use my qualifications in a setting that will challenge me appropriately. I am kind of tempted.

I'm half tempted to keep the offer secret and just carry on doing what I am doing, but I am half tempted to tell her too. But I also worry about the backlash if I do say something. "Oh so we can do what you want, but not what I want!". And then 10 days of no talking and back and forth. I am quite happy in Korea, but will only take work that I feel is appropriate (ie hours and pay). Staying here is what I prefer, but without a supportive wife it isn't easy. You quit a job and then spend 10 days pissing around because she is sulking. It's kind of crap.

Mate ,you can have loads of wives over there. Its a win /win. Miles 1, miles won, miles 1,Miles won for as long as your imagination goes for
They know what they are doing on a personal level these Muslims.Get a tea towel around your head son and go for it.

[Andre]

if only she's a member of a forum like you miles then you can read what her issues really are.

communication is one of the more important elements of a relationship and in your case it seems to have bogged down.

Exactly.

What?

[El Kabong]

Mate ,you can have loads of wives over there. Its a win /win. Miles 1, miles won, miles 1,Miles won for as long as your imagination goes for
They know what they are doing on a personal level these Muslims.Get a tea towel around your head son and go for it.

I totally agree...the wifey may nag you in Korea but that would be a very poor decision to nag a man in the Middle East #1 The husband can always get a new wife #2 Sharia law is not a friend to the ladies.

Buy her a burqa and say "Surprise honey! We're moving to a glorious land where you have to dress like Cousin It from The Adams Family and keep your trap shut or risk a flogging or a stoning!" ......the bad news is they may look down on you drinking alcohol, but hell you could always pick up hashish or opium....that'll do just fine!

[Andre]

Mate ,you can have loads of wives over there. Its a win /win. Miles 1, miles won, miles 1,Miles won for as long as your imagination goes for
They know what they are doing on a personal level these Muslims.Get a tea towel around your head son and go for it.

I totally agree...the wifey may nag you in Korea but that would be a very poor decision to nag a man in the Middle East #1 The husband can always get a new wife #2 Sharia law is not a friend to the ladies.

Buy her a burqa and say "Surprise honey! We're moving to a glorious land where you have to dress like Cousin It from The Adams Family and keep your trap shut or risk a flogging or a stoning!" ......the bad news is they may look down on you drinking alcohol, but hell you could always pick up hashish or opium....that'll do just fine!

HAha Ive never linked the Burka and cousin IT ! hahha

[Gandalf]

And now as right as rain again? Honestly, this is all a bit of a mind fuck! I kind of half hope she will be mad just to keep things stable. Let's see how long this one lasts then....

[Gandalf]

LOL, I have now just been offered a job in Dubai working for considerably more money than my wife was offered to go to England.

It seems we have both been offered jobs that want to tempt us away. Like her job, mine would be tax free, free nicely sized apartment and all the company benefits from the airline. It would also allow me to work with one of my best mates who I first met in Korea.

I can't believe the timing of this offer tbh. Beyond freaky. The job won't start until early next year which does actually allow me a chance to tie up all my contracts in a legit way, but at the same time I am quite happy here in Korea. But the truth is, I am earning what I am because of Visa status rather than my qualifications. This would be a chance to go somewhere new and use my qualifications in a setting that will challenge me appropriately. I am kind of tempted.

I'm half tempted to keep the offer secret and just carry on doing what I am doing, but I am half tempted to tell her too. But I also worry about the backlash if I do say something. "Oh so we can do what you want, but not what I want!". And then 10 days of no talking and back and forth. I am quite happy in Korea, but will only take work that I feel is appropriate (ie hours and pay). Staying here is what I prefer, but without a supportive wife it isn't easy. You quit a job and then spend 10 days pissing around because she is sulking. It's kind of crap.

I took an class on second language acquisition as an elective when I was finishing my degree this summer and the prof mentioned how much money their is to be made teaching ESL in the UAE. It was actually a pretty interesting class and I've been half-assed looking into ESL teaching jobs. I doubt I'll do it though, I'm leaning towards doing a professional Master's like an MPA...

Yes, the top jobs pay really well, but you pretty much need a masters plus experience to get them. I guess you need to adapt to the culture somewhat and also learn to deal with the weather!

ESL is always an option without the MA though. Many countries will accept a simple BA in anything and a clean background check. I don't think those people are neccessarily effective teachers though. I certainly wasn't when I started out, but if there is a demand the jobs are there.

I did a bit of research looking at ESL in the UK and it's one of the reasons I don't want to return home at all. The money simply isn't there.

[Gandalf]

I have just been given an apology and been told that she has just been a bit depressed. She thought that me earning a lot of money was one way of justifying her not been able to advance her career and I kind of let her down in that regard. Anyway all seems to be relatively peaceful again and I am going to buy dinner later. She admits that pressuring me to take the first new job that came along was wrong.

Like I say, I am always willing to work hard, but no late finishes and no random bullshit in terms of organisation. Will just take a few weeks picking and choosing to get that right.

I've no idea what to think about that Dubai offer tbh. Will have to sit and stew on that one a while.

[generalbulldog]

You need a reality tv show bro. It would be cool to see a stressed out Englishman in Korea, getting nagged by his foreign wife speaking the Queen's English and having an argument with her. Some good hilarity would ensued on such a show.

[Gandalf]

Honestly, you could make a pretty unusual film about my experiences here. Some of it would be very funny, but all at the expense of my sanity and peace of mind.

[DaxxKahn]

I have been married now for just over five years and one thing that has really started to bug me is the incessant nagging. Since coming back from my holiday, the nagging is something that has really begun to stand out. It's all the time now. Honestly, anything I say right now gets turned into a verbal sparring match. I will say something, anything, and it will get turned into WW3. The same thing happened today. I simply said that I didn't want to do an early morning company class (starting 8am) and would much rather just work my regular teaching hours (between 10 and 6) and immediately she was on me calling me lazy, saying that I am useless, and telling me that she will never find me extra work again. Blah, blah, blah. A lot of histrionics over nothing. This time I put my foot down and simply told her to stop talking because I was just not in the mood for another row. Thereafter I simply ignored her and she stormed off to her room and here I am looking at a nice quiet night in the living room. I'm not complaining.

Ever since coming back from holiday she has been like this. The holiday was quite nice actually, but faltered a little towards the end which I had put down to PMS, but it's been getting progressively worse ever since. If I complain that it's too hot, I am always complaining. If I have a drink, I get called a drinking machine. If I wear a nice shirt and accidentally spill some dinner on it, I am in the doghouse. Today I went to work and my umbrella got stolen. I had to come home in the rain and my shirt was creased and drenched. It had been freshly ironed so I hurriedly put it in the bottom of the washing machine in fear of being accused of abusing my newly ironed clothes. That's just sad really.

One thing that annoyed my wife is that her company offered her a six month position in the UK and she asked me to drop all my contracts and just fly over there with her and do that. But I put my foot down and said no. I mean, no way will I just jump and leave like that. Korea is no heaven, but I have my responsibilities and ties here and to be honest I am more than settled. Maybe this is her sweet revenge, but if so it is extremely childish and tbh, I am getting towards the end of my tether with the whole shenanigans. It's not the easiest of things living overseas and if your supposed partner is then also trying to make everything you do so difficult then it leads to a lot of misery. I guess I'm just not very happy right now which is a shame because I really enjoyed my holiday and have come back quite refreshed. I haven't mentioned politics once since coming back!

So a thread about being nagged at and being in the doghouse. What are your experiences and how did you deal with it?

Either I just say "Enough Already!" if that doesn't work I give the old "Will you please SHUT UP" If that does not work I will see if I can just get done what she won't shut up about...OR in the worst case I will just go out and stay until she starts wondering what the fuck I am up to and calls me where I tell her when she can get off her bullshit bitching I will come home if not thenh I will be by in the morning to grab clothes before work.....

BUT from what yu describe she has a bit of a bug up inside her and is pissed about something...I would just ask what the issue is before it gets out of control....Constant arguing like that usually ends up with stuff being said that no one meant that can not be taken back forever causing a strain on things

[Nameless]

one of my good friend did work 2 years full time in Dubai and abu Dhabi and quite frankly, beside money, this place is not very much interesting for more than 2-3 months,, the time to make A camel"s run in the desert and to visit around. Most thing are prohibited over here, just saying "fuck" can lead you to jail or to lose your visa and most entertainment are VERY limited and under cover as there are many illegal things. Money can be exciting but I would consider every other options before moving over here from what I've heard.

[Gandalf]

one of my good friend did work 2 years full time in Dubai and abu Dhabi and quite frankly, beside money, this place is not very much interesting for more than 2-3 months,, the time to make A camel"s run in the desert and to visit around. Most thing are prohibited over here, just saying "fuck" can lead you to jail or to lose your visa and most entertainment are VERY limited and under cover as there are many illegal things. Money can be exciting but I would consider every other options before moving over here from what I've heard.

I don't think I would be able to deal with the weather either. One plus is that the supermarkets apparently stock a lot of British food. The supermarkets out here are beyond shit and are not beffiting a developed country. Korea is developed because of the wealth of the chaebol, but in terms of other stuff I don't regard it as developed at all.

Tbh, I think staying here is better. I have permanent residency status and I'm free to move between jobs unlike other foreigners. I can earn more money here than anywhere else because of that, but it just means taking my time picking and choosing my jobs. I'm going to apply for some university jobs here and build up my resume. And maybe take on pt jobs to further supplement my income. That will work out better than needing to go anywhere else.

The wifes mood seems to have come back to earth again, so fingers crossed that things are on the mend again.