Should I Drop This Class?

[CFH]

So I'm sitting here trying to decide if I should drop my Medical Anthropology class. I cannot stand the prof. and her overtly liberal and feminist agenda, it drives me nuts (she once described the female reproductive system as "a beautiful moth". I'm all for the female reproductive system, but to describe a medical diagram of it as a "beautiful moth". Fuck off.). The dread I feel before going to class has gotten so bad that I actually feel a bit physically ill before hand. Also, ever since my mom passed away (less than 1 yr ago) I've found it very difficult to sustain my interest in my studies unless I find the classes rather interesting. I also do not need to be taking the class, its simply an elective.
I feel like I should just tough it out however. The class is pretty damn easy for a 3rd yr. course, and I've already paid for it. I hate the thought of quitting something because I don't like it, it seems like an easy way out, but I just fucking loathe this class. I also feel like I would be doing my moms memory a disservice by not completing this shit-bag of a class, she always encouraged me in my studies. I sitting here trying to think up other reasons to stick with it, but I honestly cannot come up with any more reasons for staying with it though.
I feel very conflicted about what to do and any advice would be appreciated.

[Sharla]

Depends on what you could replace it with. Is there another subject which you can replace it with which would take you more in the direction of where you want to go and as a postgraduate I can't stress this enough WHERE THE JOBS ARE!

If the subject matter is fine and it's just the way she presents it and it's good for what you want to do print out the lecture notes and study from them instead and minimize how much time you spend in her classes. That's assuming she gives detailed enough lecture notes....

[Kev]

Hey buddy, sorry to hear about you mum mate. That's terrible and quite honestly a year is not enough time to get over that loss imo, especially for someone whose still at college.

Life doesn't get much worse than losing a mother in your late teens/early twenties and I'm not suprised you struggle with motivation.

I'm sure the uni would be understanding and allow you to switch courses or even postpone your studies.

I really wouldn't beat yourself up about sticking to anything or trying to do what you think your mum would want.

Ultimately the class itself is not what's important, what really matters is coming to terms with losing your mum and refinding yourself again.

Take the pressure off yourself. If it's not crucial to your degree I wouldn't worry about it quite honestly.

You've got the larger picture to consider.

Good luck mate.

[CFH]

Depends on what you could replace it with. Is there another subject which you can replace it with which would take you more in the direction of where you want to go and as a postgraduate I can't stress this enough WHERE THE JOBS ARE!

If the subject matter is fine and it's just the way she presents it and it's good for what you want to do print out the lecture notes and study from them instead and minimize how much time you spend in her classes. That's assuming she gives detailed enough lecture notes....

I'm already headed towards where I want to be, double majoring in history and anthropology, this course was basically just a filler/elective course. I took it because it was an Anth. course, but I have already filled me required anthropology courses so it ends up being an elective. The subject matter is ok by itself, I just find myself unable (or maybe unwilling) to become engaged in the material. I've been feeling pretty detached from school for the last two semesters.
I should've taken a 3rd history course, but I assumed I would be able to tolerate the class/teacher. I should have known better. The prof. also doesn't give out her lecture notes, unfortunately.

[CFH]

Hey buddy, sorry to hear about you mum mate. That's terrible and quite honestly a year is not enough time to get over that loss imo, especially for someone whose still at college.

Life doesn't get much worse than losing a mother in your late teens/early twenties and I'm not suprised you struggle with motivation.

I'm sure the uni would be understanding and allow you to switch courses or even postpone your studies.

I really wouldn't beat yourself up about sticking to anything or trying to do what you think your mum would want.

Ultimately the class itself is not what's important, what really matters is coming to terms with losing your mum and refinding yourself again.

Take the pressure off yourself. If it's not crucial to your degree I wouldn't worry about it quite honestly.

You've got the larger picture to consider.

Good luck mate.

Yeah, I don't feel like I am over the loss at all, and honestly, though I my grades have stayed the same (A/A- avg.), I am not really interested in school at all right now. Having a full-time course load doesn't make it any better either I'm afraid, I feel like I could do with a bit less pressure. I'm a little older than your average university student though, I was 25 when my mom passed away. Owing to a drug-addled and reckless youth I didn't enter post-secondary studies until I was about 23/24ish (which makes me feel like a bit of a loser, but whatever). Thanks for the kind words Bilbo, I think I'm leaning towards dropping the course, because I'd rather waste a couple hundred bucks than get a shitty grade that dogs the rest of my academic steps. Like I said, I've completed all the anth. pre-requisites (that I need to this point), so the course it just an elective, making it non-essential. Thanks again.

[Sharla]

I'm already headed towards where I want to be, double majoring in history and anthropology, this course was basically just a filler/elective course. I took it because it was an Anth. course, but I have already filled me required anthropology courses so it ends up being an elective. The subject matter is ok by itself, I just find myself unable (or maybe unwilling) to become engaged in the material. I've been feeling pretty detached from school for the last two semesters.
I should've taken a 3rd history course, but I assumed I would be able to tolerate the class/teacher. I should have known better. The prof. also doesn't give out her lecture notes, unfortunately.

I hate lecturers who don't give out their notes! I'd do something else if you're going to struggle to engage in the material and all you get is what she gives you to work from. Maybe a similar topic taught by a different lecturer.

I put off a chemistry course in my last year of high school and ended up stretch year 12 over 2 years (Australian system) because my first chemistry teacher was an Ahole. It worked out well for me because when I learnt from a rational human being I suddenly got better grades . It worked for me in other ways too though because I was able to study part time, work and save up money for uni.

I guess being in third year you might want to consider what the extra time studying to finish off means for you. Advantage - perhaps to gain part time experience in a related field to add to your resume - or disadvantage - cost of the extra subject and taking longer to graduate?

[brucelee]

During my trigonometry class, I also had the same feeling. Just the thought of coming to class made me feel sick.


I decided to treat the subject as a challenge. It was an easy subject so I challenged myself to get a grade of 1.00 (I think its equivalent is A+ in some countries).


With getting a grade of 1.00 as my goal, the subject becomes more interesting.

Changing my perspective towards the subject helped a lot. Hope you can also do the same. --- a challenge from brucelee.

[Kev]

Yeah, I don't feel like I am over the loss at all, and honestly, though I my grades have stayed the same (A/A- avg.), I am not really interested in school at all right now. Having a full-time course load doesn't make it any better either I'm afraid, I feel like I could do with a bit less pressure. I'm a little older than your average university student though, I was 25 when my mom passed away. Owing to a drug-addled and reckless youth I didn't enter post-secondary studies until I was about 23/24ish (which makes me feel like a bit of a loser, but whatever). Thanks for the kind words Bilbo, I think I'm leaning towards dropping the course, because I'd rather waste a couple hundred bucks than get a shitty grade that dogs the rest of my academic steps. Like I said, I've completed all the anth. pre-requisites (that I need to this point), so the course it just an elective, making it non-essential. Thanks again.

I went back to college a few years ago as a mature student. I tried to do a computer degree but only lasted a few weeks. I came top for all my first assignments but just couldn't sustain any interest.

I was diagnosed with cancer at 24 and after two years of treatment was told I was unlikely to recover and would be put onto palliative care.

I had a bone marrow transplant though and never relapsed. It took me two years to physically recover to the point I was no longer registered disabled but I kind of lost interest in life.

Trying to do the course just put so much stress on me I made myself ill again.

I'm thinking I'd love to give uni another shot and like yourself am interested in anthropology, or psychology. I feel I am too old to start again but I guess nobody is ever too old for anything.

Losing your mum is bound to cause you to lose interest in life. It just makes everything else seem unimportant and life unfair.

You will get over it in time, as sadly that is the nature of life, but don't beat yourself up about not coping well or not being motivated enough.

I can tell you right now, I would have quit the day she died and would have probably gone a completely self destructive cycle so you're doing absolutely amazing to still be hanging in there, you're a better man than me.

I hope you have a strong family around you with whom you can all pull together.

On the positive at least now after a year, these feelings arn't going to get any worse. Healing is a long and painful process but it is taking place slowly.

[boozeboxer]

Tough it out mate. It doesn't matter what a liberal fuck teacher thinks. Just eat her shit up and regurgitate it for her. Those are the easy kind of teachers.
After it is done you will be glad you did it and will have 3 more hours and be that much closer to graduating.

And if you work hard at your 8 hour a day job, you will get promoted to a supervisor 12 hour/day job.

[CFH]

I went back to college a few years ago as a mature student. I tried to do a computer degree but only lasted a few weeks. I came top for all my first assignments but just couldn't sustain any interest.

I was diagnosed with cancer at 24 and after two years of treatment was told I was unlikely to recover and would be put onto palliative care.

I had a bone marrow transplant though and never relapsed. It took me two years to physically recover to the point I was no longer registered disabled but I kind of lost interest in life.

Trying to do the course just put so much stress on me I made myself ill again.

I'm thinking I'd love to give uni another shot and like yourself am interested in anthropology, or psychology. I feel I am too old to start again but I guess nobody is ever too old for anything.

Losing your mum is bound to cause you to lose interest in life. It just makes everything else seem unimportant and life unfair.

You will get over it in time, as sadly that is the nature of life, but don't beat yourself up about not coping well or not being motivated enough.

I can tell you right now, I would have quit the day she died and would have probably gone a completely self destructive cycle so you're doing absolutely amazing to still be hanging in there, you're a better man than me.

I hope you have a strong family around you with whom you can all pull together.

On the positive at least now after a year, these feelings arn't going to get any worse. Healing is a long and painful process but it is taking place slowly.

I know exactly what you mean about becoming disinterested in life etc. Oddly enough, Saddo's is a great, mostly harmless (expect when I spend time on here instead of studying), way to distract myself. I'm glad to hear that your transplant was successful (at least that is the impression I get from your post, I hope that is the case), I've wanted to ask you about the state of your illness, ie. was it in remission etc. but I didn't want to be insensititive/callous/prying for lack of better words. Some of the best, academically and otherwise, and most interesting students I know are significantly older than myself, so I wouldn't worry about age being a factor in regards to your going back to school. Anthropology is a fascinating subject, so long as you can look past the rampant political correctness that permeates the discipline (in my experience anyways, maybe its just where I live). Pre-history is fascinating.
I'm actually quite surprised I didn't decend into self-destruction myself, as I was pretty self-destructive when I was younger and had no real reason to be. However, I think that if I hadn't experienced all that self-destructive stuff and its accompanying problems earlier in life, I would certainly be doing it now. Not that I haven't emptied the odd bottle of whiskey from time to time in the last 9 months, but I can count those episodes on 1 hand, and I haven't done any of the drugs I used to do. Not because I don't sometimes want to, just because I know how hard it was on my mom seeing me like that, and I know how hard she worked to help me change, so it would be horrible, and a great dishonor to her memory, to decend back into that shit because she died.
My family is pretty good for the most part, I see my grandma most often, about once a week, so that helps, though I can't really talk about the situation too much because I know it makes her feel so terrible. My step-dad hasn't talked to me since a couple of days after it happened, so he can go fuck himself as far as I'm concerned. Like I said, my family is helpful, but we don't really talk about it much, its just too damn painful, but they're still very supportive when I am around (which isn't very often with work and school). I think that might be a result of the sudden, unexpected manner in which it occurred, it was just an accident, not a result of sickness or anything like that.
What a long post, thanks again Bilbo.

[CFH]

Tough it out mate. It doesn't matter what a liberal fuck teacher thinks. Just eat her shit up and regurgitate it for her. Those are the easy kind of teachers.
After it is done you will be glad you did it and will have 3 more hours and be that much closer to graduating.

And if you work hard at your 8 hour a day job, you will get promoted to a supervisor 12 hour/day job.

I'm not adverse to hard work at all, I work very hard at both work and school, nor am I adverse to keeping myself in situations I do not like because it will pay off in the long run. Its just that I'm starting to think that, in the specific case, its not worth it. The class itself is relatively easy for a 3rd year course, I simply do not want to do it any longer. It's not just the teacher, or even the class itself, its just that combined with all my other classes, and stress etc., it becomes too much. If that makes sense.
Thanks for the comment Booze, I knew that a fellow Winky fan like yourself would have sound advice.

[boozeboxer]

Yeah mate you have to do whatever you think you should to mitigate damage. Here is a quote that I like:



It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

[Kev]

I know exactly what you mean about becoming disinterested in life etc. Oddly enough, Saddo's is a great, mostly harmless (expect when I spend time on here instead of studying), way to distract myself. I'm glad to hear that your transplant was successful (at least that is the impression I get from your post, I hope that is the case), I've wanted to ask you about the state of your illness, ie. was it in remission etc. but I didn't want to be insensititive/callous/prying for lack of better words. Some of the best, academically and otherwise, and most interesting students I know are significantly older than myself, so I wouldn't worry about age being a factor in regards to your going back to school. Anthropology is a fascinating subject, so long as you can look past the rampant political correctness that permeates the discipline (in my experience anyways, maybe its just where I live). Pre-history is fascinating.
I'm actually quite surprised I didn't decend into self-destruction myself, as I was pretty self-destructive when I was younger and had no real reason to be. However, I think that if I hadn't experienced all that self-destructive stuff and its accompanying problems earlier in life, I would certainly be doing it now. Not that I haven't emptied the odd bottle of whiskey from time to time in the last 9 months, but I can count those episodes on 1 hand, and I haven't done any of the drugs I used to do. Not because I don't sometimes want to, just because I know how hard it was on my mom seeing me like that, and I know how hard she worked to help me change, so it would be horrible, and a great dishonor to her memory, to decend back into that shit because she died.
My family is pretty good for the most part, I see my grandma most often, about once a week, so that helps, though I can't really talk about the situation too much because I know it makes her feel so terrible. My step-dad hasn't talked to me since a couple of days after it happened, so he can go fuck himself as far as I'm concerned. Like I said, my family is helpful, but we don't really talk about it much, its just too damn painful, but they're still very supportive when I am around (which isn't very often with work and school). I think that might be a result of the sudden, unexpected manner in which it occurred, it was just an accident, not a result of sickness or anything like that.
What a long post, thanks again Bilbo.

I'm in complete remission now thanks, have been six years. I don't worry about it coming back any more but I have been left with health problems, most notably lung damage which will probably cause me problems later in life. My biggest problem coming to terms with it has been that I feel useless.

Like you I wasted most of my youth and then when I got cancer it just kind of took away any possibilities of sorting myself out. Now I don't work, can't have kids, and am physically sickly and weak, hence my self image has become fucked which makes me struggle to motivate myself. I don't think anyone judges me, but I judge myself and I judge myself to be a complete loser lol.

I also really enjoy coming on here. It's quite cathartic sharing with people you'll likely never meet so have no worry about them accepting or rejecting you. And as most users tend to stick around a long time you can end up getting to know some people really well.

I think I will look at trying to go back to uni, or maybe doing an Open University course over a longer period if I don't feel up to the stress of too much work.

I got straight A's in my A Levels and to not do anything with my life is just a real waste.

It sounds like you've managed to keep a lid on your emotions thus far and remain focused on doing what life requires of you which is admirable.

There's another user on here who lost their dad but longer ago and it amazes me how people cope.

In a funny way though nothing unites us more to each other than shared sufferings and most of the best people I have ever met have tragic stories to tell. A friend of mine's girlfriend lost her mum and dad in a car crash, and just hearing the story makes you instinctively want to just hold her and hug her.

One of my favourite books, by M.Scot Peck, 'The Road Less Travelled' begins simply with the words 'Life is difficult'.

I'll quote what he says got it's my favourite opening in any book.

Life is difficult.

This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult--once we truly understand and accept it--then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.

Most do not fully see this truth that life is difficult. Instead they moan more or less incessantly, noisily or subtly, about the enormity of their problems, their burdens, and their difficulties as if life were generally easy, as if life should be easy. They voice their belief, noisily or subtly, that their difficulties represent a unique kind of affliction that should not be and that has somehow been specially visited upon them, or else upon their families, their tribe, their class, their nation, their race or even their species, and not upon others. I know about this moaning because I have done my share.

This book helped me a lot when I read it, he gives powerful meaning to life imo.

[CFH]

I'm in complete remission now thanks, have been six years. I don't worry about it coming back any more but I have been left with health problems, most notably lung damage which will probably cause me problems later in life. My biggest problem coming to terms with it has been that I feel useless.

Like you I wasted most of my youth and then when I got cancer it just kind of took away any possibilities of sorting myself out. Now I don't work, can't have kids, and am physically sickly and weak, hence my self image has become fucked which makes me struggle to motivate myself. I don't think anyone judges me, but I judge myself and I judge myself to be a complete loser lol.

I also really enjoy coming on here. It's quite cathartic sharing with people you'll likely never meet so have no worry about them accepting or rejecting you. And as most users tend to stick around a long time you can end up getting to know some people really well.

I think I will look at trying to go back to uni, or maybe doing an Open University course over a longer period if I don't feel up to the stress of too much work.

I got straight A's in my A Levels and to not do anything with my life is just a real waste.

It sounds like you've managed to keep a lid on your emotions thus far and remain focused on doing what life requires of you which is admirable.

There's another user on here who lost their dad but longer ago and it amazes me how people cope.

In a funny way though nothing unites us more to each other than shared sufferings and most of the best people I have ever met have tragic stories to tell. A friend of mine's girlfriend lost her mum and dad in a car crash, and just hearing the story makes you instinctively want to just hold her and hug her.

One of my favourite books, by M.Scot Peck, 'The Road Less Travelled' begins simply with the words 'Life is difficult'.

I'll quote what he says got it's my favourite opening in any book.

Life is difficult.

This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult--once we truly understand and accept it--then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.

Most do not fully see this truth that life is difficult. Instead they moan more or less incessantly, noisily or subtly, about the enormity of their problems, their burdens, and their difficulties as if life were generally easy, as if life should be easy. They voice their belief, noisily or subtly, that their difficulties represent a unique kind of affliction that should not be and that has somehow been specially visited upon them, or else upon their families, their tribe, their class, their nation, their race or even their species, and not upon others. I know about this moaning because I have done my share.

This book helped me a lot when I read it, he gives powerful meaning to life imo.

I know exactly what you mean. Sometimes it's a lot easier to come to a place like this where there isn't really any judgement to talk about serious matters. I mean, even I don't mind being rejected by a bunch of people on the internet.
Back to school, I don't know if its the same in the UK, but here you can take some of your courses online, and they are worth exactly the same as regular ones. Way easier too, as long as you can be self-disciplined.

[Mikkel_K]

[Sorry for interrupting/going off-topic]

I'm thinking I'd love to give uni another shot and like yourself am interested in anthropology, or psychology. I feel I am too old to start again but I guess nobody is ever too old for anything.

Have you ever considered doing journalism or something of the like?

I know you say that you are unable to work - and obviously I fully believe you - but you always comes across as a smart, witty writer, and (if I had the chance) I would never ever hesitate to hire you as a part time, work-at-home writer. Now obviously this may not be that easy to find such a job, but I honestly believe you are very talented in these regards.

At least you have great practice in writing weird, off-beat and off-topic stories...