The Heavyweight Boxing Recession.

Between the U.S. economy, gas prices, and the heavyweight division of boxing: “Okay, so now does everyone believe we are in a recession?” Says Chief Investment Officer Don Luskin. Since the boxing etymology of Muhammad Ali, then Mike Tyson, Lennox Lewis, then Evander Holyfield, when has professional boxing seen an unambiguous heavyweight champion of the world? Could the next contender to the crown be James “Lights Out” Toney (68-4-2; 43 KOs?) In employment of today’s towering heavyweights the size of Lennox Lewis, Vitali Klitschko, and Hasim Rahman, who would logically ruminate a little chubby, five-feet-nine-inch guy to become heavyweight champion in this era of boxing?

Furthermore, James Toney does possess tremendous boxing skills, however, he literally eats his way to stardom (rather it is attempting to make a higher weight class for a boxing match or playing alongside Will Smith as “Smokin” Joe Frazier in an ”Ali” movie). It’s absolutely a brainteaser to wonder what Toney could really do as a fighter that would properly play the training game as typical boxers learn to do. Well, until the solving of this mystery, let’s see what we do have out there to hold any promises of acceptable pugilistic expediency to the sport of boxing:

John Ruiz: 41-5-1 (28 KOs) – “The Quiet Man” who loses to boxers that are not even true heavyweights. Why not bring Floyd Mayweather up to beat him?

Vitali Klitschko: 35-2 (34 KOs) – Will fight Hasim Rahman on November 12, but Danny Williams, Corey Sanders, and Kirk Johnson whose fight against Yanqui Diaz packed about enough clients to keep the lights on for the fight would make someone ponder his management’s decisions.

Chris Byrd: 38-2 (20 KOs) – Hasn’t fought at all in 2005! He spends more time sitting at ringside and talking about how he is from Flint, Michigan.

Lamon Brewster: 32-2 (28 KOs) – He became glorified through beating a guy that has nervous breakdowns in the ring and scrupulous attacks on opponents even when he is winning the fight. Not to even mention…

This gets bad! Brewster acquired his reputation for beating Wladimir Klitschko in a fight that Wlad was convincingly winning, and chronologically lost a unanimous decision to bank robber (Clifford Etienne) who a thirty-five-year-old Mike Tyson had to peel off the floor after just forty-nine seconds. His other loss was to Charles Shufford who recently lost to Samuel Peter, Gilbert Martinez, Jameel McCline, and Lawrence Clay-Bey.

These heavyweights just aren’t that good! So far, the best bets of any respectable boxing gains would be to either watch the Klitschko-Rahman fight in November or take a spin on James Toney vs. Dominick Guinn on Oct. 1. Toney says, “I talk a lot, but nobody is going to shut my mouth.” Hopefully soon, boxing fans will enter into some level of blissful contentment and satisfaction with this truly distraught heavyweight division of boxing. If not, we might as well count on gas prices still going up!

Contact Ben Mestman at drgoodlooking@hotmail.com