Temptation.

[Gandalf]

There is no excuse for it ever. If you don't want to be in a relationship with the mother of your child then you need to be direct and tell her so. How did you allow yourself to be put into a situation where you are snogging this girl? That's what I don't understand with some of you people. If you are a responsible father and a commited partner/spouse then you shouldn't be allowing yourself to be put into such uncompromising situations.

Bilbo, none of us are perfect and all of us have had our problems at some time or another, but cheating is good for nobody. It destroys lives and breaks up families. If Ice doesn't want in then he should at least man up and get out by being upfront with his girl or if he does want in then should find a little bit of backbone. It really isn't that hard to go about a relationship the right way.

For fuck's sake Miles he's 20 years old. You seem to have the sexual mores and joy crushing convictions of Oliver Cromwell. It wouldn't suprise me if you too would like to ban Christmas and alcohol and give everyone a 9 pm nighttime curfew.

Don't feel too bad Ice, EVERY normal 20 year old lad is interested in girls. Outside of the Waltons nobody actually lives the unblemished moral lives that Miles seems to demand.

I wouldn't do anything drastic, if you love your kid and your girl you don't have to worry about leaving them or anything. Just make sure you're more sensible than I was last week and don't make out with her in full view of your current girls' family.

Humbug.

For sure, every lad is interested in girls. But the guy has a baby and a partner who most likely depends upon him. All I am saying is that he needs to think about things deeply and do what's right. People in long term relationships have obligations and if there are kids then those obligations run deeper. It is called having responsibilties, Bilbo. Every man should have them.

Good man. We all think it, we all get the temptation , But if you are a player dont get hooked up to just one person its that simple but it happens right at the start.

I been married for 20 years now God shoot me,and I get tempted every week if not by a co worker in some of the shops we work for then in my own mind.Hell we are all human.
I could have easily done what you're thinking about, but for some reason I always think about my own misses and how faithful she is and how much weight our relationship holds by that trust alone.Faithful people are hard to find and if I swap one for one that isnt then I am mad cause Im buying into something I dont want in the long run.
The misses and I have a deal. If one of us is going to stray we tell the other before it occurs.
Either we are both faithful, or one of us is a crack poker player.

I find it strange when I partake in threads like this because what I regard as typical good values always gets turned into me being painted as some kind of puritan, moral crusader which simply isn't the case. Well, it's only Bilbo that does it really, but still. I just happen to think that people should respect one another and that being honest and decent is far better than sneaking around cheating. In fact, I don't think it takes all that much effort to avoid cheating entirely. You seem to have a similar marriage set up to me really. Why would I want to cheat? I don't get it really.

[Howlin Mad Missy]

Miles, I think lots of people shirk responsibilities or just can't cope with it or even the idea of it! Where that comes from I don't know, there are lots of factors. Maybe because divorce is so much easier people take marriage less seriously, cheating is seen as less of a big deal, you'd be shunned for it years ago now it's a shrug of the shoulders and so what.

There is so much emphasis on the self, satisfying your own needs without giving a thought to anyone else. Technology has made cheating so much easier, there's even a website set up FOR married people to meet other married folk. It's just wrong.

[Gandalf]

Miles, I think lots of people shirk responsibilities or just can't cope with it or even the idea of it! Where that comes from I don't know, there are lots of factors. Maybe because divorce is so much easier people take marriage less seriously, cheating is seen as less of a big deal, you'd be shunned for it years ago now it's a shrug of the shoulders and so what.

There is so much emphasis on the self, satisfying your own needs without giving a thought to anyone else. Technology has made cheating so much easier, there's even a website set up FOR married people to meet other married folk. It's just wrong.

I agree that in a lot of ways society has changed for the worse. Life is all about "me" and getting what I want and having it now and if I want to meet women then I should be able to do it at any time. It's a dumbed down world of instant gratification and I find that rather sad. Ooh a girl looked at me, I must try and shag her right here and now! Forget the fact that I have a kid at home and a partner who needs me. The way some minds work make me think sometimes that I am on a different planet.

[Kev]

Miles, I think lots of people shirk responsibilities or just can't cope with it or even the idea of it! Where that comes from I don't know, there are lots of factors. Maybe because divorce is so much easier people take marriage less seriously, cheating is seen as less of a big deal, you'd be shunned for it years ago now it's a shrug of the shoulders and so what.

There is so much emphasis on the self, satisfying your own needs without giving a thought to anyone else. Technology has made cheating so much easier, there's even a website set up FOR married people to meet other married folk. It's just wrong.

Hey, if you want to insist that homosexuals be loved and accepted then it works for adulterers too. We've moved on. We no longer imprison people for loving people of the same sex or loving more than one person.

I'm sure there are far more people who find themselves attracted to more than one person of the opposite sex than there are people who find themselves attracted to a person of the same sex.

Tolerance and fairness for all is all I ask. Don't be plurophobic, it's an ugly trait imo.

[Howlin Mad Missy]

Miles, I think lots of people shirk responsibilities or just can't cope with it or even the idea of it! Where that comes from I don't know, there are lots of factors. Maybe because divorce is so much easier people take marriage less seriously, cheating is seen as less of a big deal, you'd be shunned for it years ago now it's a shrug of the shoulders and so what.

There is so much emphasis on the self, satisfying your own needs without giving a thought to anyone else. Technology has made cheating so much easier, there's even a website set up FOR married people to meet other married folk. It's just wrong.

Hey, if you want to insist that homosexuals be loved and accepted then it works for adulterers too. We've moved on. We no longer imprison people for loving people of the same sex or loving more than one person.

I'm sure there are far more people who find themselves attracted to more than one person of the opposite sex than there are people who find themselves attracted to a person of the same sex.

Tolerance and fairness for all is all I ask. Don't be plurophobic, it's an ugly trait imo.

[Mattyhitman]

There is no excuse for it ever. If you don't want to be in a relationship with the mother of your child then you need to be direct and tell her so. How did you allow yourself to be put into a situation where you are snogging this girl? That's what I don't understand with some of you people. If you are a responsible father and a commited partner/spouse then you shouldn't be allowing yourself to be put into such uncompromising situations.

Bilbo, none of us are perfect and all of us have had our problems at some time or another, but cheating is good for nobody. It destroys lives and breaks up families. If Ice doesn't want in then he should at least man up and get out by being upfront with his girl or if he does want in then should find a little bit of backbone. It really isn't that hard to go about a relationship the right way.

For fuck's sake Miles he's 20 years old. You seem to have the sexual mores and joy crushing convictions of Oliver Cromwell. It wouldn't suprise me if you too would like to ban Christmas and alcohol and give everyone a 9 pm nighttime curfew.

Don't feel too bad Ice, EVERY normal 20 year old lad is interested in girls. Outside of the Waltons nobody actually lives the unblemished moral lives that Miles seems to demand.

I wouldn't do anything drastic, if you love your kid and your girl you don't have to worry about leaving them or anything. Just make sure you're more sensible than I was last week and don't make out with her in full view of your current girls' family.

Humbug.

For sure, every lad is interested in girls. But the guy has a baby and a partner who most likely depends upon him. All I am saying is that he needs to think about things deeply and do what's right. People in long term relationships have obligations and if there are kids then those obligations run deeper. It is called having responsibilties, Bilbo. Every man should have them.

Good man. We all think it, we all get the temptation , But if you are a player dont get hooked up to just one person its that simple but it happens right at the start.

I been married for 20 years now God shoot me,and I get tempted every week if not by a co worker in some of the shops we work for then in my own mind.Hell we are all human.
I could have easily done what you're thinking about, but for some reason I always think about my own misses and how faithful she is and how much weight our relationship holds by that trust alone.Faithful people are hard to find and if I swap one for one that isnt then I am mad cause Im buying into something I dont want in the long run.
The misses and I have a deal. If one of us is going to stray we tell the other before it occurs.
Either we are both faithful, or one of us is a crack poker player.

I find it strange when I partake in threads like this because what I regard as typical good values always gets turned into me being painted as some kind of puritan, moral crusader which simply isn't the case. Well, it's only Bilbo that does it really, but still. I just happen to think that people should respect one another and that being honest and decent is far better than sneaking around cheating. In fact, I don't think it takes all that much effort to avoid cheating entirely. You seem to have a similar marriage set up to me really. Why would I want to cheat? I don't get it really.

Im with you Miles on this one. When you have been cheated on then you will understand how it can make someone feel. Nothing wrong with morality.

Try flip siding this and ask yourself the question - If my missus done this to me how would i feel ? Base your actions on the answer to that question and you'll be happy.