Temptation.

[Gandalf]

Just saw your second post. Bilbo, I might be negative and bitter about many things in life, but my marriage is one of the things that keeps me sane. All my bitterness is down to global politics and Amir Khan.

It all makes you realise how you should think before you do things. It's one of the reasons I haven't had children myself yet. I will never do so unless I can guarantee that child a certain quality of life that I myself never recieved. Life is a serious business and if you are going to get into long term relationships and marriages, then you have to face up to things as an adult. Cheating isn't really an option. Breaking up is fine though and taking care of your kid paramount. But cheating? That's for low life skanks.

[Kev]

Just saw your second post. Bilbo, I might be negative and bitter about many things in life, but my marriage is one of the things that keeps me sane. All my bitterness is down to global politics and Amir Khan.

It all makes you realise how you should think before you do things. It's one of the reasons I haven't had children myself yet. I will never do so unless I can guarantee that child a certain quality of life that I myself never recieved. Life is a serious business and if you are going to get into long term relationships and marriages, then you have to face up to things as an adult. Cheating isn't really an option. Breaking up is fine though and taking care of your kid paramount. But cheating? That's for low life skanks.

haha that made me lol

[johnmaff36]

Honestly i hate to admit this but anyway here i go, i go to this gym 3 or 4 times a week. And theres this right fit bird there, i befriended not long ago. Anyway i really fancy her, and i mean badly almost uncontrollable. Few days ago we snogged but that was all, but i feel really guilty.

I know in the past i said this and that, and it would never happen to me. But jesus it has badly, i can't get her out of my mind. I've been with my girl for ages as you guys/girls know.

And i know it can't go any further, but honestly theres another side to me. That i can't get her out of my mind and i don't know what to do.

Spunk in her face, is my advice.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Listen to the master, young grasshopper

[Howlin Mad Missy]

Just saw your second post. Bilbo, I might be negative and bitter about many things in life, but my marriage is one of the things that keeps me sane. All my bitterness is down to global politics and Amir Khan.

It all makes you realise how you should think before you do things. It's one of the reasons I haven't had children myself yet. I will never do so unless I can guarantee that child a certain quality of life that I myself never recieved. Life is a serious business and if you are going to get into long term relationships and marriages, then you have to face up to things as an adult. Cheating isn't really an option. Breaking up is fine though and taking care of your kid paramount. But cheating? That's for low life skanks.

I'm knicking that one Miles

[Andre]

There is no excuse for it ever. If you don't want to be in a relationship with the mother of your child then you need to be direct and tell her so. How did you allow yourself to be put into a situation where you are snogging this girl? That's what I don't understand with some of you people. If you are a responsible father and a commited partner/spouse then you shouldn't be allowing yourself to be put into such uncompromising situations.

Bilbo, none of us are perfect and all of us have had our problems at some time or another, but cheating is good for nobody. It destroys lives and breaks up families. If Ice doesn't want in then he should at least man up and get out by being upfront with his girl or if he does want in then should find a little bit of backbone. It really isn't that hard to go about a relationship the right way.

For fuck's sake Miles he's 20 years old. You seem to have the sexual mores and joy crushing convictions of Oliver Cromwell. It wouldn't suprise me if you too would like to ban Christmas and alcohol and give everyone a 9 pm nighttime curfew.

Don't feel too bad Ice, EVERY normal 20 year old lad is interested in girls. Outside of the Waltons nobody actually lives the unblemished moral lives that Miles seems to demand.

I wouldn't do anything drastic, if you love your kid and your girl you don't have to worry about leaving them or anything. Just make sure you're more sensible than I was last week and don't make out with her in full view of your current girls' family.

Humbug.

For sure, every lad is interested in girls. But the guy has a baby and a partner who most likely depends upon him. All I am saying is that he needs to think about things deeply and do what's right. People in long term relationships have obligations and if there are kids then those obligations run deeper. It is called having responsibilties, Bilbo. Every man should have them.

Good man. We all think it, we all get the temptation , But if you are a player dont get hooked up to just one person its that simple but it happens right at the start.

I been married for 20 years now God shoot me,and I get tempted every week if not by a co worker in some of the shops we work for then in my own mind.Hell we are all human.
I could have easily done what you're thinking about, but for some reason I always think about my own misses and how faithful she is and how much weight our relationship holds by that trust alone.Faithful people are hard to find and if I swap one for one that isnt then I am mad cause Im buying into something I dont want in the long run.
The misses and I have a deal. If one of us is going to stray we tell the other before it occurs.
Either we are both faithful, or one of us is a crack poker player.

[Gandalf]

There is no excuse for it ever. If you don't want to be in a relationship with the mother of your child then you need to be direct and tell her so. How did you allow yourself to be put into a situation where you are snogging this girl? That's what I don't understand with some of you people. If you are a responsible father and a commited partner/spouse then you shouldn't be allowing yourself to be put into such uncompromising situations.

Bilbo, none of us are perfect and all of us have had our problems at some time or another, but cheating is good for nobody. It destroys lives and breaks up families. If Ice doesn't want in then he should at least man up and get out by being upfront with his girl or if he does want in then should find a little bit of backbone. It really isn't that hard to go about a relationship the right way.

For fuck's sake Miles he's 20 years old. You seem to have the sexual mores and joy crushing convictions of Oliver Cromwell. It wouldn't suprise me if you too would like to ban Christmas and alcohol and give everyone a 9 pm nighttime curfew.

Don't feel too bad Ice, EVERY normal 20 year old lad is interested in girls. Outside of the Waltons nobody actually lives the unblemished moral lives that Miles seems to demand.

I wouldn't do anything drastic, if you love your kid and your girl you don't have to worry about leaving them or anything. Just make sure you're more sensible than I was last week and don't make out with her in full view of your current girls' family.

Humbug.

For sure, every lad is interested in girls. But the guy has a baby and a partner who most likely depends upon him. All I am saying is that he needs to think about things deeply and do what's right. People in long term relationships have obligations and if there are kids then those obligations run deeper. It is called having responsibilties, Bilbo. Every man should have them.

Good man. We all think it, we all get the temptation , But if you are a player dont get hooked up to just one person its that simple but it happens right at the start.

I been married for 20 years now God shoot me,and I get tempted every week if not by a co worker in some of the shops we work for then in my own mind.Hell we are all human.
I could have easily done what you're thinking about, but for some reason I always think about my own misses and how faithful she is and how much weight our relationship holds by that trust alone.Faithful people are hard to find and if I swap one for one that isnt then I am mad cause Im buying into something I dont want in the long run.
The misses and I have a deal. If one of us is going to stray we tell the other before it occurs.
Either we are both faithful, or one of us is a crack poker player.

I find it strange when I partake in threads like this because what I regard as typical good values always gets turned into me being painted as some kind of puritan, moral crusader which simply isn't the case. Well, it's only Bilbo that does it really, but still. I just happen to think that people should respect one another and that being honest and decent is far better than sneaking around cheating. In fact, I don't think it takes all that much effort to avoid cheating entirely. You seem to have a similar marriage set up to me really. Why would I want to cheat? I don't get it really.

[Howlin Mad Missy]

Miles, I think lots of people shirk responsibilities or just can't cope with it or even the idea of it! Where that comes from I don't know, there are lots of factors. Maybe because divorce is so much easier people take marriage less seriously, cheating is seen as less of a big deal, you'd be shunned for it years ago now it's a shrug of the shoulders and so what.

There is so much emphasis on the self, satisfying your own needs without giving a thought to anyone else. Technology has made cheating so much easier, there's even a website set up FOR married people to meet other married folk. It's just wrong.

[Gandalf]

Miles, I think lots of people shirk responsibilities or just can't cope with it or even the idea of it! Where that comes from I don't know, there are lots of factors. Maybe because divorce is so much easier people take marriage less seriously, cheating is seen as less of a big deal, you'd be shunned for it years ago now it's a shrug of the shoulders and so what.

There is so much emphasis on the self, satisfying your own needs without giving a thought to anyone else. Technology has made cheating so much easier, there's even a website set up FOR married people to meet other married folk. It's just wrong.

I agree that in a lot of ways society has changed for the worse. Life is all about "me" and getting what I want and having it now and if I want to meet women then I should be able to do it at any time. It's a dumbed down world of instant gratification and I find that rather sad. Ooh a girl looked at me, I must try and shag her right here and now! Forget the fact that I have a kid at home and a partner who needs me. The way some minds work make me think sometimes that I am on a different planet.

[Kev]

Miles, I think lots of people shirk responsibilities or just can't cope with it or even the idea of it! Where that comes from I don't know, there are lots of factors. Maybe because divorce is so much easier people take marriage less seriously, cheating is seen as less of a big deal, you'd be shunned for it years ago now it's a shrug of the shoulders and so what.

There is so much emphasis on the self, satisfying your own needs without giving a thought to anyone else. Technology has made cheating so much easier, there's even a website set up FOR married people to meet other married folk. It's just wrong.

Hey, if you want to insist that homosexuals be loved and accepted then it works for adulterers too. We've moved on. We no longer imprison people for loving people of the same sex or loving more than one person.

I'm sure there are far more people who find themselves attracted to more than one person of the opposite sex than there are people who find themselves attracted to a person of the same sex.

Tolerance and fairness for all is all I ask. Don't be plurophobic, it's an ugly trait imo.

[Howlin Mad Missy]

Miles, I think lots of people shirk responsibilities or just can't cope with it or even the idea of it! Where that comes from I don't know, there are lots of factors. Maybe because divorce is so much easier people take marriage less seriously, cheating is seen as less of a big deal, you'd be shunned for it years ago now it's a shrug of the shoulders and so what.

There is so much emphasis on the self, satisfying your own needs without giving a thought to anyone else. Technology has made cheating so much easier, there's even a website set up FOR married people to meet other married folk. It's just wrong.

Hey, if you want to insist that homosexuals be loved and accepted then it works for adulterers too. We've moved on. We no longer imprison people for loving people of the same sex or loving more than one person.

I'm sure there are far more people who find themselves attracted to more than one person of the opposite sex than there are people who find themselves attracted to a person of the same sex.

Tolerance and fairness for all is all I ask. Don't be plurophobic, it's an ugly trait imo.

[Mattyhitman]

There is no excuse for it ever. If you don't want to be in a relationship with the mother of your child then you need to be direct and tell her so. How did you allow yourself to be put into a situation where you are snogging this girl? That's what I don't understand with some of you people. If you are a responsible father and a commited partner/spouse then you shouldn't be allowing yourself to be put into such uncompromising situations.

Bilbo, none of us are perfect and all of us have had our problems at some time or another, but cheating is good for nobody. It destroys lives and breaks up families. If Ice doesn't want in then he should at least man up and get out by being upfront with his girl or if he does want in then should find a little bit of backbone. It really isn't that hard to go about a relationship the right way.

For fuck's sake Miles he's 20 years old. You seem to have the sexual mores and joy crushing convictions of Oliver Cromwell. It wouldn't suprise me if you too would like to ban Christmas and alcohol and give everyone a 9 pm nighttime curfew.

Don't feel too bad Ice, EVERY normal 20 year old lad is interested in girls. Outside of the Waltons nobody actually lives the unblemished moral lives that Miles seems to demand.

I wouldn't do anything drastic, if you love your kid and your girl you don't have to worry about leaving them or anything. Just make sure you're more sensible than I was last week and don't make out with her in full view of your current girls' family.

Humbug.

For sure, every lad is interested in girls. But the guy has a baby and a partner who most likely depends upon him. All I am saying is that he needs to think about things deeply and do what's right. People in long term relationships have obligations and if there are kids then those obligations run deeper. It is called having responsibilties, Bilbo. Every man should have them.

Good man. We all think it, we all get the temptation , But if you are a player dont get hooked up to just one person its that simple but it happens right at the start.

I been married for 20 years now God shoot me,and I get tempted every week if not by a co worker in some of the shops we work for then in my own mind.Hell we are all human.
I could have easily done what you're thinking about, but for some reason I always think about my own misses and how faithful she is and how much weight our relationship holds by that trust alone.Faithful people are hard to find and if I swap one for one that isnt then I am mad cause Im buying into something I dont want in the long run.
The misses and I have a deal. If one of us is going to stray we tell the other before it occurs.
Either we are both faithful, or one of us is a crack poker player.

I find it strange when I partake in threads like this because what I regard as typical good values always gets turned into me being painted as some kind of puritan, moral crusader which simply isn't the case. Well, it's only Bilbo that does it really, but still. I just happen to think that people should respect one another and that being honest and decent is far better than sneaking around cheating. In fact, I don't think it takes all that much effort to avoid cheating entirely. You seem to have a similar marriage set up to me really. Why would I want to cheat? I don't get it really.

Im with you Miles on this one. When you have been cheated on then you will understand how it can make someone feel. Nothing wrong with morality.

Try flip siding this and ask yourself the question - If my missus done this to me how would i feel ? Base your actions on the answer to that question and you'll be happy.

[ono]

Honestly bud...if its a question at this very early stage ,you know the answer.You can relocate yeh but the wandering eyes and seeking fondness are what needs to change.Your just into the world of marriage so its time to rip open the chest and ask why your tempted...are you looking to something or away from something.Find out now and dont drag the child and one you stated love for into the abyss...btw,do you happen to know HER status?Ahhh... shutting up now.

Am I the only one who doesn't really think this is that unusual or that big of a deal?

There doesn't have to be anything wrong with his current relationship. I don't think it's a case of looking for a way out necessarily but rather a case of just being two things, 1) young, and 2) a man.

We are all attracted to girls no matter what age or how great your current relationship is. He's 20 years old, to stay faithful to a girl forever now would be VERY VERY unusual in this day and age, in fact I've never met a guy who has managed it, even amongst those who go to church.

I wouldn't feel too bad about yourself Ice, you're young and you are going to be attracted to many, many girls over the course of your lifetime.

I don't see why you can't stay with your current girlfriend or that you should feel too guilty.

She may not yet, but in time she too will meet some guy and be tempted, it's called human nature and everyone does it when they are young.

You only live once mate, go where your heart takes you and have the experiences that you want in life. Try and be honest with people but if you were to accept right now that for the rest of your life you were never going to be with anyone else apart from your current girl, well, what would be the point of carrying on?

You'll end up like Miles, bitter and angry, with all the joy sucked out of your being, and maybe even being groped by other men who clearly have also gone nuts through the miseries of married life.

Human nature mate, but we have to pretend it's wrong and we have to pretend there's this thing called love which dictates we'll only ever fall for one person.

[Howlin Mad Missy]

Honestly bud...if its a question at this very early stage ,you know the answer.You can relocate yeh but the wandering eyes and seeking fondness are what needs to change.Your just into the world of marriage so its time to rip open the chest and ask why your tempted...are you looking to something or away from something.Find out now and dont drag the child and one you stated love for into the abyss...btw,do you happen to know HER status?Ahhh... shutting up now.

Am I the only one who doesn't really think this is that unusual or that big of a deal?

There doesn't have to be anything wrong with his current relationship. I don't think it's a case of looking for a way out necessarily but rather a case of just being two things, 1) young, and 2) a man.

We are all attracted to girls no matter what age or how great your current relationship is. He's 20 years old, to stay faithful to a girl forever now would be VERY VERY unusual in this day and age, in fact I've never met a guy who has managed it, even amongst those who go to church.

I wouldn't feel too bad about yourself Ice, you're young and you are going to be attracted to many, many girls over the course of your lifetime.

I don't see why you can't stay with your current girlfriend or that you should feel too guilty.

She may not yet, but in time she too will meet some guy and be tempted, it's called human nature and everyone does it when they are young.

You only live once mate, go where your heart takes you and have the experiences that you want in life. Try and be honest with people but if you were to accept right now that for the rest of your life you were never going to be with anyone else apart from your current girl, well, what would be the point of carrying on?

You'll end up like Miles, bitter and angry, with all the joy sucked out of your being, and maybe even being groped by other men who clearly have also gone nuts through the miseries of married life.

Human nature mate, but we have to pretend it's wrong and we have to pretend there's this thing called love which dictates we'll only ever fall for one person.

ICB said nothing about love.

And there are very specific hormones/chemical responses that produce that 'love' feeling so it is real, just depends how you want to describe or debate what triggers it.

[Kev]

Honestly bud...if its a question at this very early stage ,you know the answer.You can relocate yeh but the wandering eyes and seeking fondness are what needs to change.Your just into the world of marriage so its time to rip open the chest and ask why your tempted...are you looking to something or away from something.Find out now and dont drag the child and one you stated love for into the abyss...btw,do you happen to know HER status?Ahhh... shutting up now.

Am I the only one who doesn't really think this is that unusual or that big of a deal?

There doesn't have to be anything wrong with his current relationship. I don't think it's a case of looking for a way out necessarily but rather a case of just being two things, 1) young, and 2) a man.

We are all attracted to girls no matter what age or how great your current relationship is. He's 20 years old, to stay faithful to a girl forever now would be VERY VERY unusual in this day and age, in fact I've never met a guy who has managed it, even amongst those who go to church.

I wouldn't feel too bad about yourself Ice, you're young and you are going to be attracted to many, many girls over the course of your lifetime.

I don't see why you can't stay with your current girlfriend or that you should feel too guilty.

She may not yet, but in time she too will meet some guy and be tempted, it's called human nature and everyone does it when they are young.

You only live once mate, go where your heart takes you and have the experiences that you want in life. Try and be honest with people but if you were to accept right now that for the rest of your life you were never going to be with anyone else apart from your current girl, well, what would be the point of carrying on?

You'll end up like Miles, bitter and angry, with all the joy sucked out of your being, and maybe even being groped by other men who clearly have also gone nuts through the miseries of married life.

Human nature mate, but we have to pretend it's wrong and we have to pretend there's this thing called love which dictates we'll only ever fall for one person.

ICB said nothing about love.

And there are very specific hormones/chemical responses that produce that 'love' feeling so it is real, just depends how you want to describe or debate what triggers it.

Yes, and most of us men get those specific hormones and chemical responses to many women.

So you're saying this real love is wrong now?

[ono]

Honestly bud...if its a question at this very early stage ,you know the answer.You can relocate yeh but the wandering eyes and seeking fondness are what needs to change.Your just into the world of marriage so its time to rip open the chest and ask why your tempted...are you looking to something or away from something.Find out now and dont drag the child and one you stated love for into the abyss...btw,do you happen to know HER status?Ahhh... shutting up now.

Am I the only one who doesn't really think this is that unusual or that big of a deal?

There doesn't have to be anything wrong with his current relationship. I don't think it's a case of looking for a way out necessarily but rather a case of just being two things, 1) young, and 2) a man.

We are all attracted to girls no matter what age or how great your current relationship is. He's 20 years old, to stay faithful to a girl forever now would be VERY VERY unusual in this day and age, in fact I've never met a guy who has managed it, even amongst those who go to church.

I wouldn't feel too bad about yourself Ice, you're young and you are going to be attracted to many, many girls over the course of your lifetime.

I don't see why you can't stay with your current girlfriend or that you should feel too guilty.

She may not yet, but in time she too will meet some guy and be tempted, it's called human nature and everyone does it when they are young.

You only live once mate, go where your heart takes you and have the experiences that you want in life. Try and be honest with people but if you were to accept right now that for the rest of your life you were never going to be with anyone else apart from your current girl, well, what would be the point of carrying on?

You'll end up like Miles, bitter and angry, with all the joy sucked out of your being, and maybe even being groped by other men who clearly have also gone nuts through the miseries of married life.

Human nature mate, but we have to pretend it's wrong and we have to pretend there's this thing called love which dictates we'll only ever fall for one person.

ICB said nothing about love.

And there are very specific hormones/chemical responses that produce that 'love' feeling so it is real, just depends how you want to describe or debate what triggers it.

I'm not arguing that love isn't a real feeling, i'm just saying it's not specific to one person, in the sense that it's very, very likely that ICE, or in fact any other guy could have those feelings for someone else. It's viewed as being morally wrong, but those feelings are perfectly natural and it's very difficult not to act on them when certain situations arise.

He could experience some, if not all of those chemical reactions for more than one girl at the same time.