Temptation.

[Gandalf]

There is no excuse for it ever. If you don't want to be in a relationship with the mother of your child then you need to be direct and tell her so. How did you allow yourself to be put into a situation where you are snogging this girl? That's what I don't understand with some of you people. If you are a responsible father and a commited partner/spouse then you shouldn't be allowing yourself to be put into such uncompromising situations.

Bilbo, none of us are perfect and all of us have had our problems at some time or another, but cheating is good for nobody. It destroys lives and breaks up families. If Ice doesn't want in then he should at least man up and get out by being upfront with his girl or if he does want in then should find a little bit of backbone. It really isn't that hard to go about a relationship the right way.

For fuck's sake Miles he's 20 years old. You seem to have the sexual mores and joy crushing convictions of Oliver Cromwell. It wouldn't suprise me if you too would like to ban Christmas and alcohol and give everyone a 9 pm nighttime curfew.

Don't feel too bad Ice, EVERY normal 20 year old lad is interested in girls. Outside of the Waltons nobody actually lives the unblemished moral lives that Miles seems to demand.

I wouldn't do anything drastic, if you love your kid and your girl you don't have to worry about leaving them or anything. Just make sure you're more sensible than I was last week and don't make out with her in full view of your current girls' family.

Humbug.

For sure, every lad is interested in girls. But the guy has a baby and a partner who most likely depends upon him. All I am saying is that he needs to think about things deeply and do what's right. People in long term relationships have obligations and if there are kids then those obligations run deeper. It is called having responsibilties, Bilbo. Every man should have them.

[Gandalf]

Just saw your second post. Bilbo, I might be negative and bitter about many things in life, but my marriage is one of the things that keeps me sane. All my bitterness is down to global politics and Amir Khan.

It all makes you realise how you should think before you do things. It's one of the reasons I haven't had children myself yet. I will never do so unless I can guarantee that child a certain quality of life that I myself never recieved. Life is a serious business and if you are going to get into long term relationships and marriages, then you have to face up to things as an adult. Cheating isn't really an option. Breaking up is fine though and taking care of your kid paramount. But cheating? That's for low life skanks.

[Kev]

Just saw your second post. Bilbo, I might be negative and bitter about many things in life, but my marriage is one of the things that keeps me sane. All my bitterness is down to global politics and Amir Khan.

It all makes you realise how you should think before you do things. It's one of the reasons I haven't had children myself yet. I will never do so unless I can guarantee that child a certain quality of life that I myself never recieved. Life is a serious business and if you are going to get into long term relationships and marriages, then you have to face up to things as an adult. Cheating isn't really an option. Breaking up is fine though and taking care of your kid paramount. But cheating? That's for low life skanks.

haha that made me lol

[Howlin Mad Missy]

Just saw your second post. Bilbo, I might be negative and bitter about many things in life, but my marriage is one of the things that keeps me sane. All my bitterness is down to global politics and Amir Khan.

It all makes you realise how you should think before you do things. It's one of the reasons I haven't had children myself yet. I will never do so unless I can guarantee that child a certain quality of life that I myself never recieved. Life is a serious business and if you are going to get into long term relationships and marriages, then you have to face up to things as an adult. Cheating isn't really an option. Breaking up is fine though and taking care of your kid paramount. But cheating? That's for low life skanks.

I'm knicking that one Miles

[Andre]

There is no excuse for it ever. If you don't want to be in a relationship with the mother of your child then you need to be direct and tell her so. How did you allow yourself to be put into a situation where you are snogging this girl? That's what I don't understand with some of you people. If you are a responsible father and a commited partner/spouse then you shouldn't be allowing yourself to be put into such uncompromising situations.

Bilbo, none of us are perfect and all of us have had our problems at some time or another, but cheating is good for nobody. It destroys lives and breaks up families. If Ice doesn't want in then he should at least man up and get out by being upfront with his girl or if he does want in then should find a little bit of backbone. It really isn't that hard to go about a relationship the right way.

For fuck's sake Miles he's 20 years old. You seem to have the sexual mores and joy crushing convictions of Oliver Cromwell. It wouldn't suprise me if you too would like to ban Christmas and alcohol and give everyone a 9 pm nighttime curfew.

Don't feel too bad Ice, EVERY normal 20 year old lad is interested in girls. Outside of the Waltons nobody actually lives the unblemished moral lives that Miles seems to demand.

I wouldn't do anything drastic, if you love your kid and your girl you don't have to worry about leaving them or anything. Just make sure you're more sensible than I was last week and don't make out with her in full view of your current girls' family.

Humbug.

For sure, every lad is interested in girls. But the guy has a baby and a partner who most likely depends upon him. All I am saying is that he needs to think about things deeply and do what's right. People in long term relationships have obligations and if there are kids then those obligations run deeper. It is called having responsibilties, Bilbo. Every man should have them.

Good man. We all think it, we all get the temptation , But if you are a player dont get hooked up to just one person its that simple but it happens right at the start.

I been married for 20 years now God shoot me,and I get tempted every week if not by a co worker in some of the shops we work for then in my own mind.Hell we are all human.
I could have easily done what you're thinking about, but for some reason I always think about my own misses and how faithful she is and how much weight our relationship holds by that trust alone.Faithful people are hard to find and if I swap one for one that isnt then I am mad cause Im buying into something I dont want in the long run.
The misses and I have a deal. If one of us is going to stray we tell the other before it occurs.
Either we are both faithful, or one of us is a crack poker player.

[Gandalf]

There is no excuse for it ever. If you don't want to be in a relationship with the mother of your child then you need to be direct and tell her so. How did you allow yourself to be put into a situation where you are snogging this girl? That's what I don't understand with some of you people. If you are a responsible father and a commited partner/spouse then you shouldn't be allowing yourself to be put into such uncompromising situations.

Bilbo, none of us are perfect and all of us have had our problems at some time or another, but cheating is good for nobody. It destroys lives and breaks up families. If Ice doesn't want in then he should at least man up and get out by being upfront with his girl or if he does want in then should find a little bit of backbone. It really isn't that hard to go about a relationship the right way.

For fuck's sake Miles he's 20 years old. You seem to have the sexual mores and joy crushing convictions of Oliver Cromwell. It wouldn't suprise me if you too would like to ban Christmas and alcohol and give everyone a 9 pm nighttime curfew.

Don't feel too bad Ice, EVERY normal 20 year old lad is interested in girls. Outside of the Waltons nobody actually lives the unblemished moral lives that Miles seems to demand.

I wouldn't do anything drastic, if you love your kid and your girl you don't have to worry about leaving them or anything. Just make sure you're more sensible than I was last week and don't make out with her in full view of your current girls' family.

Humbug.

For sure, every lad is interested in girls. But the guy has a baby and a partner who most likely depends upon him. All I am saying is that he needs to think about things deeply and do what's right. People in long term relationships have obligations and if there are kids then those obligations run deeper. It is called having responsibilties, Bilbo. Every man should have them.

Good man. We all think it, we all get the temptation , But if you are a player dont get hooked up to just one person its that simple but it happens right at the start.

I been married for 20 years now God shoot me,and I get tempted every week if not by a co worker in some of the shops we work for then in my own mind.Hell we are all human.
I could have easily done what you're thinking about, but for some reason I always think about my own misses and how faithful she is and how much weight our relationship holds by that trust alone.Faithful people are hard to find and if I swap one for one that isnt then I am mad cause Im buying into something I dont want in the long run.
The misses and I have a deal. If one of us is going to stray we tell the other before it occurs.
Either we are both faithful, or one of us is a crack poker player.

I find it strange when I partake in threads like this because what I regard as typical good values always gets turned into me being painted as some kind of puritan, moral crusader which simply isn't the case. Well, it's only Bilbo that does it really, but still. I just happen to think that people should respect one another and that being honest and decent is far better than sneaking around cheating. In fact, I don't think it takes all that much effort to avoid cheating entirely. You seem to have a similar marriage set up to me really. Why would I want to cheat? I don't get it really.

[Howlin Mad Missy]

Miles, I think lots of people shirk responsibilities or just can't cope with it or even the idea of it! Where that comes from I don't know, there are lots of factors. Maybe because divorce is so much easier people take marriage less seriously, cheating is seen as less of a big deal, you'd be shunned for it years ago now it's a shrug of the shoulders and so what.

There is so much emphasis on the self, satisfying your own needs without giving a thought to anyone else. Technology has made cheating so much easier, there's even a website set up FOR married people to meet other married folk. It's just wrong.

[Gandalf]

Miles, I think lots of people shirk responsibilities or just can't cope with it or even the idea of it! Where that comes from I don't know, there are lots of factors. Maybe because divorce is so much easier people take marriage less seriously, cheating is seen as less of a big deal, you'd be shunned for it years ago now it's a shrug of the shoulders and so what.

There is so much emphasis on the self, satisfying your own needs without giving a thought to anyone else. Technology has made cheating so much easier, there's even a website set up FOR married people to meet other married folk. It's just wrong.

I agree that in a lot of ways society has changed for the worse. Life is all about "me" and getting what I want and having it now and if I want to meet women then I should be able to do it at any time. It's a dumbed down world of instant gratification and I find that rather sad. Ooh a girl looked at me, I must try and shag her right here and now! Forget the fact that I have a kid at home and a partner who needs me. The way some minds work make me think sometimes that I am on a different planet.

[Kev]

Miles, I think lots of people shirk responsibilities or just can't cope with it or even the idea of it! Where that comes from I don't know, there are lots of factors. Maybe because divorce is so much easier people take marriage less seriously, cheating is seen as less of a big deal, you'd be shunned for it years ago now it's a shrug of the shoulders and so what.

There is so much emphasis on the self, satisfying your own needs without giving a thought to anyone else. Technology has made cheating so much easier, there's even a website set up FOR married people to meet other married folk. It's just wrong.

Hey, if you want to insist that homosexuals be loved and accepted then it works for adulterers too. We've moved on. We no longer imprison people for loving people of the same sex or loving more than one person.

I'm sure there are far more people who find themselves attracted to more than one person of the opposite sex than there are people who find themselves attracted to a person of the same sex.

Tolerance and fairness for all is all I ask. Don't be plurophobic, it's an ugly trait imo.

[Howlin Mad Missy]

Miles, I think lots of people shirk responsibilities or just can't cope with it or even the idea of it! Where that comes from I don't know, there are lots of factors. Maybe because divorce is so much easier people take marriage less seriously, cheating is seen as less of a big deal, you'd be shunned for it years ago now it's a shrug of the shoulders and so what.

There is so much emphasis on the self, satisfying your own needs without giving a thought to anyone else. Technology has made cheating so much easier, there's even a website set up FOR married people to meet other married folk. It's just wrong.

Hey, if you want to insist that homosexuals be loved and accepted then it works for adulterers too. We've moved on. We no longer imprison people for loving people of the same sex or loving more than one person.

I'm sure there are far more people who find themselves attracted to more than one person of the opposite sex than there are people who find themselves attracted to a person of the same sex.

Tolerance and fairness for all is all I ask. Don't be plurophobic, it's an ugly trait imo.

[Mattyhitman]

There is no excuse for it ever. If you don't want to be in a relationship with the mother of your child then you need to be direct and tell her so. How did you allow yourself to be put into a situation where you are snogging this girl? That's what I don't understand with some of you people. If you are a responsible father and a commited partner/spouse then you shouldn't be allowing yourself to be put into such uncompromising situations.

Bilbo, none of us are perfect and all of us have had our problems at some time or another, but cheating is good for nobody. It destroys lives and breaks up families. If Ice doesn't want in then he should at least man up and get out by being upfront with his girl or if he does want in then should find a little bit of backbone. It really isn't that hard to go about a relationship the right way.

For fuck's sake Miles he's 20 years old. You seem to have the sexual mores and joy crushing convictions of Oliver Cromwell. It wouldn't suprise me if you too would like to ban Christmas and alcohol and give everyone a 9 pm nighttime curfew.

Don't feel too bad Ice, EVERY normal 20 year old lad is interested in girls. Outside of the Waltons nobody actually lives the unblemished moral lives that Miles seems to demand.

I wouldn't do anything drastic, if you love your kid and your girl you don't have to worry about leaving them or anything. Just make sure you're more sensible than I was last week and don't make out with her in full view of your current girls' family.

Humbug.

For sure, every lad is interested in girls. But the guy has a baby and a partner who most likely depends upon him. All I am saying is that he needs to think about things deeply and do what's right. People in long term relationships have obligations and if there are kids then those obligations run deeper. It is called having responsibilties, Bilbo. Every man should have them.

Good man. We all think it, we all get the temptation , But if you are a player dont get hooked up to just one person its that simple but it happens right at the start.

I been married for 20 years now God shoot me,and I get tempted every week if not by a co worker in some of the shops we work for then in my own mind.Hell we are all human.
I could have easily done what you're thinking about, but for some reason I always think about my own misses and how faithful she is and how much weight our relationship holds by that trust alone.Faithful people are hard to find and if I swap one for one that isnt then I am mad cause Im buying into something I dont want in the long run.
The misses and I have a deal. If one of us is going to stray we tell the other before it occurs.
Either we are both faithful, or one of us is a crack poker player.

I find it strange when I partake in threads like this because what I regard as typical good values always gets turned into me being painted as some kind of puritan, moral crusader which simply isn't the case. Well, it's only Bilbo that does it really, but still. I just happen to think that people should respect one another and that being honest and decent is far better than sneaking around cheating. In fact, I don't think it takes all that much effort to avoid cheating entirely. You seem to have a similar marriage set up to me really. Why would I want to cheat? I don't get it really.

Im with you Miles on this one. When you have been cheated on then you will understand how it can make someone feel. Nothing wrong with morality.

Try flip siding this and ask yourself the question - If my missus done this to me how would i feel ? Base your actions on the answer to that question and you'll be happy.

[Lefty]

I'm nearly 19 and so around your age.

I've had a lot of issues with girls the past few months, some days my head has been totally recked over them, almost felt like I couldn't get out of a hole. At one point I was even so close to booking a flight to Australia to see my cousin just to get away from it all. But I never and with the advice from this lot gave me and a couple of other things, I came through all the stuff.

Man were young, our mind is everywhere. Cheating isn't for me, I dont see the appeal in it. But you gotta make a decision Adam and fast, because you cant have both. And dont trick yourself into thinking you can, the longer it gets the worse it will end up. If you think about this new girl non stop and prefer to be with her over your current partner, go for it by all means. But If you dont then get out this situation (By moving gyms and deleting all numbers etc of hers) and admit you fukked up this time. But always keep your head up, some days are bad, some are good. Thats just life.

But you've got to make a decision, quickly!

[CFH]

Regarding your problem Ice, I think you just have to decide what is more important to you. Do you want to run around and knock boots with a bunch of different woman or do you want to stay with your wife.

You can still be a good father and not be with the mother of your child, and if you don't want to be married it's probably best for everyone if you're not. However, if your family life and marriage are more important to you, then you have to resist temptation as best you can and stay together.

If that's what you want to do, then maybe you should talk to your wife and find different ways to keep your sex life interesting so thoughts of straying won't be as powerful.

Just my $0.02 on the situation. Good luck.

[Violent Demise]

Regarding your problem Ice, I think you just have to decide what is more important to you. Do you want to run around and knock boots with a bunch of different woman or do you want to stay with your wife.

You can still be a good father and not be with the mother of your child, and if you don't want to be married it's probably best for everyone if you're not. However, if your family life and marriage are more important to you, then you have to resist temptation as best you can and stay together.

If that's what you want to do, then maybe you should talk to your wife and find different ways to keep your sex life interesting so thoughts of straying won't be as powerful.

Just my $0.02 on the situation. Good luck.

At his age marriage should be the last thing on his mind. What's wrong with you muthafukkas giving the boy such bad advice? You just setting him up to fail by telling him to stay with his wife. He ain't ready for that shit. No matter how much he tries to convince himself he is. Boy needs to be out and about

[Snakey]

Regarding your problem Ice, I think you just have to decide what is more important to you. Do you want to run around and knock boots with a bunch of different woman or do you want to stay with your wife.

You can still be a good father and not be with the mother of your child, and if you don't want to be married it's probably best for everyone if you're not. However, if your family life and marriage are more important to you, then you have to resist temptation as best you can and stay together.

If that's what you want to do, then maybe you should talk to your wife and find different ways to keep your sex life interesting so thoughts of straying won't be as powerful.

Just my $0.02 on the situation. Good luck.

At his age marriage should be the last thing on his mind. What's wrong with you muthafukkas giving the boy such bad advice? You just setting him up to fail by telling him to stay with his wife. He ain't ready for that shit. No matter how much he tries to convince himself he is. Boy needs to be out and about

No doubt he should be out enjoying himself and rooting chicks left right and centre, definitely agree with ya on that. I know heaps of guys my age who are already engaged or tied down in some way and its just horrible to watch them do that to themselves. BUT Ice got his mrs pregnant and now has responsibilities so he needs to be a man and live up to them. He fucked over his chance of freedom so he cant take that out on his mrs and child, why should they suffer coz he cant keep his dick in his pants?

Ice you have already cheated on her by hooking up with this gym chick so you really need to look at yourself and decide whether all of this is worth hurting people who love you.