How do you deal with constant nagging?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by generalbulldog

Sometimes I feel like I don't have a partner
Sometimes I feel like my only friend
Is the city I live in, the city of angels
Lonely as I am, together we cry


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lwlogyj7nFE&ob=av2n

:cool:

---

Are you telling me to become a heroin addict? ;D

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Saddo

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by El Kabong

Well that's an easy enough fix...go to the fridge to get a beer, stand there, pay attention (at least try to), and instead of saying "What?" You can ask different questions "How does that make you feel?", "How can I help?", and then just end things by offering some random kind supportive words...feining sincerity is pretty simple and ladies are suckers for it.

---

never EVER say "How does that make you feel?", "How can I help?"

if you have no idea what the fuck she said... just come clean an say sorry i missed what you said.

because the chances are she asked you something...

wife: what do you want for dinner.
husband: How does that make you feel?

wife: can you tell the kids to go to bed.
husband: how can i help?

:-X:-X:-X:-X:-X:-X:-X

just come clean... i'm always missing what the wife says and i always know when its my time to talk and i think fuck... so i just say sorry i was doing somthing on the computer i missed what you said.

women know men can't multi task so they will be cool ;)

just don't ignore them too much because your leaving the door open for a new guy to listen to them.

just my :twocents:

---

Haha, that post made me chuckle! ;D

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Saddo

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by El Kabong

Well that's an easy enough fix...go to the fridge to get a beer, stand there, pay attention (at least try to), and instead of saying "What?" You can ask different questions "How does that make you feel?", "How can I help?", and then just end things by offering some random kind supportive words...feining sincerity is pretty simple and ladies are suckers for it.

---

never EVER say "How does that make you feel?", "How can I help?"

if you have no idea what the fuck she said... just come clean an say sorry i missed what you said.

because the chances are she asked you something...

wife: what do you want for dinner.
husband: How does that make you feel?

wife: can you tell the kids to go to bed.
husband: how can i help?

:-X:-X:-X:-X:-X:-X:-X

just come clean... i'm always missing what the wife says and i always know when its my time to talk and i think fuck... so i just say sorry i was doing somthing on the computer i missed what you said.

women know men can't multi task so they will be cool ;)

just don't ignore them too much because your leaving the door open for a new guy to listen to them.

just my :twocents:

---

If you read my post I plainly state that one should get up and go to where the lady is...at least it shows some kind of effort on your part, and with DVRs you can just pause the tv.

so, the mrs wants to go to the UK and you want to stay and neither of you sound willing to compromise....so what options do you think you have?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by El Kabong

Well that's an easy enough fix...go to the fridge to get a beer, stand there, pay attention (at least try to), and instead of saying "What?" You can ask different questions "How does that make you feel?", "How can I help?", and then just end things by offering some random kind supportive words...feining sincerity is pretty simple and ladies are suckers for it.

---

Yeah, wouldn't work with my mrs, she is wise to my not listening, she now expects the answer to be relevant, as opposed to the usual "yes definatley".

How can I help would just make her laugh and would expose my not listening further.

Sometimes I can be looking straight at her, trying to listen, but my brain goes off on a wonder mid way through her conversation. But to be fair to me, she does talk a lot, she has a skill of linking one conversation to the next and we can talk for hours with me not saying a word! ;)



And Miles you just need to earn some man points my friend, you sound like you are running low on them. Spend a week being super husband and you'll recoup enough for the rest of the year. Do the dishes, make bed, clean something, flowers, random meal out etc etc. You now need to convince her that you haven't turned into a lazy xbox loving, sport watching, beer drinking bastard (even though you are) this way she'll know you do give a shit and she'll feed bad for being a bitch.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by El Kabong

If you read my post I plainly state that one should get up and go to where the lady is...at least it shows some kind of effort on your part, and with DVRs you can just pause the tv.

---

And pausing the TV just makes things worse, it gives the impression that what ever I'm watching is more important than her as I've had to pause it to listen to her. She also doesn't like it as she knows it's my way of saying "hurry up with what your saying becasue I want to watch this"

She puts up with a lot from me, so I can't grumble. I just seem to have lost the ability to actually listen to what she says.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Howlin Mad Missy

so, the mrs wants to go to the UK and you want to stay and neither of you sound willing to compromise....so what options do you think you have?

---

I am not leaving. In fact just last week the wife herself put her own signature on a new 2 year lease for this place. And yet the theatrics have commenced once again.

From recent discussion/arguments it also seems that because I have my MA and all my teaching experience she isn't happy that the world hasn't just fallen upon my shoulders in a few weeks since coming back from a holiday. Apparently, I should be rolling in money in order to compensate for her not earning the UK's average wage with free housing.

What options do I have? I don't know. All I know is that life is not so good right now. Tbh, I don't really get it. The more this goes on, I don't really care. I stayed in this country to be with her and have been here for years and suddenly because she gets a chance to do something else I am expected to jump and leave all that I have built behind? It was me that spent my prime years here for her. She seems to forget all that. I could have jumped ship after my 2nd year here. I am 30. What am I supposed to do there now? I have contacts here and a relatively decent standard of living. Going home does nothing for me.

It's fucked up and I am not quite sure what to do. All I want to do is keep on going to work and teaching the kids that I teach. Tbh it's the only real happiness I have. Kids are fun and during the times that I teach I can forget that this nonsense is going on.

Have you explained it to her exactly as you've stated it here?

(my fees will be £50 an hour but since I'm training this is for free ;D)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by 0james0

Yeah, wouldn't work with my mrs, she is wise to my not listening, she now expects the answer to be relevant, as opposed to the usual "yes definatley".

How can I help would just make her laugh and would expose my not listening further.

Sometimes I can be looking straight at her, trying to listen, but my brain goes off on a wonder mid way through her conversation. But to be fair to me, she does talk a lot, she has a skill of linking one conversation to the next and we can talk for hours with me not saying a word! ;)

---

#1 Nod not in agreement mind you but understanding, feel free to repeat a little bit of what she says just for it to have full effect. Try to ask a relevant question (it gets the mind a little bit involved)

#2 What I had in quotes were random examples don't use them verbatum unless they apply.

#3 I've been there man....god those conversations are slow as shit and they are redundant, women just can't get to the fucking point it's all on about feelings and their projections and blah blah blah (being a Psych major I don't mind as much, listening and interpreting is kind of my whole deal)....but if you just take a little time and a little effort you can be in and out of a conversation (and be in better favor with the Mrs.) in no time....you can become a conversation ninja.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by 0james0

And pausing the TV just makes things worse, it gives the impression that what ever I'm watching is more important than her as I've had to pause it to listen to her. She also doesn't like it as she knows it's my way of saying "hurry up with what your saying becasue I want to watch this"

She puts up with a lot from me, so I can't grumble. I just seem to have lost the ability to actually listen to what she says.

---

Is that your way of saying "Hurry up"? You've got to kind of look at yourself through her eyes in order for this whole feining intrest thing to work. The next time she has one of those conversations with you just try and figure out what messages you send out that are received in a positive manner.

Also a really big key is if you're going in for a long conversation ALWAYS ask "Do you want my advice or do you just need me to listen?"...sometimes they just need to unload, other times they'll need help.

There's just no helping poor miles

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by 0james0

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by El Kabong

If you read my post I plainly state that one should get up and go to where the lady is...at least it shows some kind of effort on your part, and with DVRs you can just pause the tv.

---

And pausing the TV just makes things worse, it gives the impression that what ever I'm watching is more important than her as I've had to pause it to listen to her. She also doesn't like it as she knows it's my way of saying "hurry up with what your saying becasue I want to watch this"

She puts up with a lot from me, so I can't grumble. I just seem to have lost the ability to actually listen to what she says.

---

Good work.;D

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Saddo

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by El Kabong

Well that's an easy enough fix...go to the fridge to get a beer, stand there, pay attention (at least try to), and instead of saying "What?" You can ask different questions "How does that make you feel?", "How can I help?", and then just end things by offering some random kind supportive words...feining sincerity is pretty simple and ladies are suckers for it.

---

never EVER say "How does that make you feel?", "How can I help?"

if you have no idea what the fuck she said... just come clean an say sorry i missed what you said.

because the chances are she asked you something...

wife: what do you want for dinner.
husband: How does that make you feel?

wife: can you tell the kids to go to bed.
husband: how can i help?

:-X:-X:-X:-X:-X:-X:-X

just come clean... i'm always missing what the wife says and i always know when its my time to talk and i think fuck... so i just say sorry i was doing somthing on the computer i missed what you said.

women know men can't multi task so they will be cool ;)

just don't ignore them too much because your leaving the door open for a new guy to listen to them.

just my :twocents:

---

Didnt you mean to write:

" You will be leaving the door open for some other guy to buy into her bullshit".;D

Yes, Missy.

I have been pretty upfront about everything. She knows that teaching is what I like and do and she knows that I have become as qualified as I have to ensure I am the best at what I do and maintain my competitiveness. I want to work hard, but I am not going to take the first job that comes along every time. This recent job was forced on me somewhat and turned out to be poorly organised. I simply wasn't going to stick with it, whence saying 'thanks, but no thanks'. I got home from work at 10pm on monday which I hadn't agreed to and the following day had my entire evenings classes cancelled last minute. I won't work those hours and I won't work with that level of disorganisation. I don't see why I am in the wrong for that.

About 3 years ago I was working a horrendous schedule teaching about 40 classes a week between 10am and 10pm Monday to Friday. I couldn't eat properly and resorted to taking sleeping pills just to put me to sleep. I was earning rather good money doing that, but I burned myself out horribly. That was when I decided to study my MA and work a lighter schedule. I made a promise to myself that I would never take on such a schedule again. If I was to carry on with this job, it would have seen on the path to the bad old days. Okay, a lot of money to throw around, but really no quality of life for me. I am not going to kill myself for money. It's not like we don't have savings and it's not as though there is any urgency where I need to jump at the first offer that comes up. However, my wife resents me and will call me lazy and say that I am holding her back. My wife has never taught a class in her life and sits in a chair everyday. She has no idea how demanding a well taught, effective class can be. And then she wants them all piled on just like that?

Nah, she can just bugger off. I've had enough of all the bullshit to be honest.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by miles

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Howlin Mad Missy

so, the mrs wants to go to the UK and you want to stay and neither of you sound willing to compromise....so what options do you think you have?

---

I am not leaving. In fact just last week the wife herself put her own signature on a new 2 year lease for this place. And yet the theatrics have commenced once again.

From recent discussion/arguments it also seems that because I have my MA and all my teaching experience she isn't happy that the world hasn't just fallen upon my shoulders in a few weeks since coming back from a holiday. Apparently, I should be rolling in money in order to compensate for her not earning the UK's average wage with free housing.

What options do I have? I don't know. All I know is that life is not so good right now. Tbh, I don't really get it. The more this goes on, I don't really care. I stayed in this country to be with her and have been here for years and suddenly because she gets a chance to do something else I am expected to jump and leave all that I have built behind? It was me that spent my prime years here for her. She seems to forget all that. I could have jumped ship after my 2nd year here. I am 30. What am I supposed to do there now? I have contacts here and a relatively decent standard of living. Going home does nothing for me.

It's fucked up and I am not quite sure what to do. All I want to do is keep on going to work and teaching the kids that I teach. Tbh it's the only real happiness I have. Kids are fun and during the times that I teach I can forget that this nonsense is going on.

---

Mate you may have found the cause of her inner anguish there.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Andre

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by miles

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Howlin Mad Missy

so, the mrs wants to go to the UK and you want to stay and neither of you sound willing to compromise....so what options do you think you have?

---

I am not leaving. In fact just last week the wife herself put her own signature on a new 2 year lease for this place. And yet the theatrics have commenced once again.

From recent discussion/arguments it also seems that because I have my MA and all my teaching experience she isn't happy that the world hasn't just fallen upon my shoulders in a few weeks since coming back from a holiday. Apparently, I should be rolling in money in order to compensate for her not earning the UK's average wage with free housing.

What options do I have? I don't know. All I know is that life is not so good right now. Tbh, I don't really get it. The more this goes on, I don't really care. I stayed in this country to be with her and have been here for years and suddenly because she gets a chance to do something else I am expected to jump and leave all that I have built behind? It was me that spent my prime years here for her. She seems to forget all that. I could have jumped ship after my 2nd year here. I am 30. What am I supposed to do there now? I have contacts here and a relatively decent standard of living. Going home does nothing for me.

It's fucked up and I am not quite sure what to do. All I want to do is keep on going to work and teaching the kids that I teach. Tbh it's the only real happiness I have. Kids are fun and during the times that I teach I can forget that this nonsense is going on.

---

Mate you may have found the cause of her inner anguish there.

---

The thing is I was opposed to it as well! We live in a reasonably sized city, but staying here for two years means I am unable to apply for some of the better university jobs that become available. I wanted a one year contract, but she was adamant that it should be two as the rent would stay the same for 2 years. You are damned if you do and damned if you don't.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by miles

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Andre

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by miles

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Howlin Mad Missy

so, the mrs wants to go to the UK and you want to stay and neither of you sound willing to compromise....so what options do you think you have?

---

I am not leaving. In fact just last week the wife herself put her own signature on a new 2 year lease for this place. And yet the theatrics have commenced once again.

From recent discussion/arguments it also seems that because I have my MA and all my teaching experience she isn't happy that the world hasn't just fallen upon my shoulders in a few weeks since coming back from a holiday. Apparently, I should be rolling in money in order to compensate for her not earning the UK's average wage with free housing.

What options do I have? I don't know. All I know is that life is not so good right now. Tbh, I don't really get it. The more this goes on, I don't really care. I stayed in this country to be with her and have been here for years and suddenly because she gets a chance to do something else I am expected to jump and leave all that I have built behind? It was me that spent my prime years here for her. She seems to forget all that. I could have jumped ship after my 2nd year here. I am 30. What am I supposed to do there now? I have contacts here and a relatively decent standard of living. Going home does nothing for me.

It's fucked up and I am not quite sure what to do. All I want to do is keep on going to work and teaching the kids that I teach. Tbh it's the only real happiness I have. Kids are fun and during the times that I teach I can forget that this nonsense is going on.

---

Mate you may have found the cause of her inner anguish there.

---

The thing is I was opposed to it as well! We live in a reasonably sized city, but staying here for two years means I am unable to apply for some of the better university jobs that become available. I wanted a one year contract, but she was adamant that it should be two as the rent would stay the same for 2 years. You are damned if you do and damned if you don't.

---

If she cant afford the rent for two years on the place on her own wage and you are leaving your job ,she is going to feel some anguish over that you would think.
tell her" its ok baby Id never leave you in the lurch over money",then have great make up sex.:)

The rent is dirt cheap so no worries about any of that. And even now I am earning quite a bit more than her doing multiple freelance jobs. This job I quit was just another one of them filling up a few slots in my schedule. There should be no anguish about money whatsover.

I don't know what the problem is to be honest. I said to her "what exactly have I done wrong?". And all I get is "I don't want to talk about it. I am just miserable". That makes two, I guess.

What a load of random nonsense! Like I say it was her that said maybe I should rethink this new job after coming home shattered on monday. And I did just that!

Have you asked her what's making her miserable?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Howlin Mad Missy

(my fees will be £50 an hour but since I'm training this is for free ;D)

---

does that include... nah too predictable :-X

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Andre

" You will be leaving the door open for some other guy to buy into her bullshit".;D

---

;D;D;D nah she is pretty smart and comes up with some great stuff to make life very interesting ;)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Howlin Mad Missy

Have you asked her what's making her miserable?

---

come on Missy you know it aint that easy.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by miles

Yes, Missy.

I have been pretty upfront about everything. She knows that teaching is what I like and do and she knows that I have become as qualified as I have to ensure I am the best at what I do and maintain my competitiveness. I want to work hard, but I am not going to take the first job that comes along every time. This recent job was forced on me somewhat and turned out to be poorly organised. I simply wasn't going to stick with it, whence saying 'thanks, but no thanks'. I got home from work at 10pm on monday which I hadn't agreed to and the following day had my entire evenings classes cancelled last minute. I won't work those hours and I won't work with that level of disorganisation. I don't see why I am in the wrong for that.

About 3 years ago I was working a horrendous schedule teaching about 40 classes a week between 10am and 10pm Monday to Friday. I couldn't eat properly and resorted to taking sleeping pills just to put me to sleep. I was earning rather good money doing that, but I burned myself out horribly. That was when I decided to study my MA and work a lighter schedule. I made a promise to myself that I would never take on such a schedule again. If I was to carry on with this job, it would have seen on the path to the bad old days. Okay, a lot of money to throw around, but really no quality of life for me. I am not going to kill myself for money. It's not like we don't have savings and it's not as though there is any urgency where I need to jump at the first offer that comes up. However, my wife resents me and will call me lazy and say that I am holding her back. My wife has never taught a class in her life and sits in a chair everyday. She has no idea how demanding a well taught, effective class can be. And then she wants them all piled on just like that?

Nah, she can just bugger off. I've had enough of all the bullshit to be honest.

---

that sounds pretty bad mate hope you can sort things out.

if only she's a member of a forum like you miles then you can read what her issues really are.

communication is one of the more important elements of a relationship and in your case it seems to have bogged down.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by KKisser

if only she's a member of a forum like you miles then you can read what her issues really are.

communication is one of the more important elements of a relationship and in your case it seems to have bogged down.

---

Exactly.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Saddo

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Howlin Mad Missy

(my fees will be £50 an hour but since I'm training this is for free ;D)

---

does that include... nah too predictable :-X

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Andre

" You will be leaving the door open for some other guy to buy into her bullshit".;D

---

;D;D;D nah she is pretty smart and comes up with some great stuff to make life very interesting ;)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Howlin Mad Missy

Have you asked her what's making her miserable?

---

come on Missy you know it aint that easy.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by miles

Yes, Missy.

I have been pretty upfront about everything. She knows that teaching is what I like and do and she knows that I have become as qualified as I have to ensure I am the best at what I do and maintain my competitiveness. I want to work hard, but I am not going to take the first job that comes along every time. This recent job was forced on me somewhat and turned out to be poorly organised. I simply wasn't going to stick with it, whence saying 'thanks, but no thanks'. I got home from work at 10pm on monday which I hadn't agreed to and the following day had my entire evenings classes cancelled last minute. I won't work those hours and I won't work with that level of disorganisation. I don't see why I am in the wrong for that.

About 3 years ago I was working a horrendous schedule teaching about 40 classes a week between 10am and 10pm Monday to Friday. I couldn't eat properly and resorted to taking sleeping pills just to put me to sleep. I was earning rather good money doing that, but I burned myself out horribly. That was when I decided to study my MA and work a lighter schedule. I made a promise to myself that I would never take on such a schedule again. If I was to carry on with this job, it would have seen on the path to the bad old days. Okay, a lot of money to throw around, but really no quality of life for me. I am not going to kill myself for money. It's not like we don't have savings and it's not as though there is any urgency where I need to jump at the first offer that comes up. However, my wife resents me and will call me lazy and say that I am holding her back. My wife has never taught a class in her life and sits in a chair everyday. She has no idea how demanding a well taught, effective class can be. And then she wants them all piled on just like that?

Nah, she can just bugger off. I've had enough of all the bullshit to be honest.

---

that sounds pretty bad mate hope you can sort things out.

---

That's why a coach like myself can assit! ;D

People often find it difficult to communicate effectively because they don't know what they want, they don't know how to express it plus pesky things like their emotions, other peoples expectations get in the way.

p.s for you Saddo the cost goes up because you're a small business.;)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by KKisser

if only she's a member of a forum like you miles then you can read what her issues really are.

communication is one of the more important elements of a relationship and in your case it seems to have bogged down.

---

I agree. I've tried talking but it gets nowhere and quickly degenerates. Maybe she needs her space. After a fight I am always able to get my mood back together within minutes. She on the other hand will sulk and barely speak for a number of days.

I've had enough of trying though and will just continue to live life. If she has all these issues then she needs to deal with them. She knew who I was when she married me and if that's not good enough then that's her call. I'm not the one trying to make random changes or up and leave anywhere. She can bugger off to England for all I care right now. I would quite like the space and peace. I don't think I even like her at this point in time. I'm just sick of it.

I'm going to stop talking about it as I think I've said all I need to say. This thread has been good for a bit of venting, but it's time to be more constructive. I might start a thread highlighting all the reasons why I hate Amir Khan or something. Something useful.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by miles

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by KKisser

if only she's a member of a forum like you miles then you can read what her issues really are.

communication is one of the more important elements of a relationship and in your case it seems to have bogged down.

---

I agree. I've tried talking but it gets nowhere and quickly degenerates. Maybe she needs her space. After a fight I am always able to get my mood back together within minutes. She on the other hand will sulk and barely speak for a number of days.

I've had enough of trying though and will just continue to live life. If she has all these issues then she needs to deal with them. She knew who I was when she married me and if that's not good enough then that's her call. I'm not the one trying to make random changes or up and leave anywhere. She can bugger off to England for all I care right now. I would quite like the space and peace. I don't think I even like her at this point in time. I'm just sick of it.

I'm going to stop talking about it as I think I've said all I need to say. This thread has been good for a bit of venting, but it's time to be more constructive. I might start a thread highlighting all the reasons why I hate Amir Khan or something. Something useful.

---

My views on women and relationships has always been that of a man and his car. After taking that car out of the showroom and owning it for a few years, you will notice that the car starts having problems, it may be because of the mileage, the overuse of the engine, the paint starts fading, a lot of headaches trying to fix the problems, and you may notice that other cars/models looks much better and you want to upgrade to something else.

In other words, let her work in England and maybe she finds another English guy more to her liking in terms of wealth, status, and financial security for herself. While you on the other hand starts eyeing that cute 22 year old Korean chick that has graduated from university and is starting her career and is open to dating a more mature man that is in his early 30s and might be more compatible to you in terms of personality, plus hey it's new punani.

It's a win-win for all I say. So trade in that used car for a newer model. Hey just some VDesque advice.;D

The thing is that I am still pretty much the same car. I am in good nick. Even this monday a student asked me how old I was and was surprised when I said 30. He said I look 23. I am svelte, tall and from a certain angle am quite dashing. Before being married I was always the most successful with the girls because they fell for my big eyes and high nose. All my wifes coworkers comment on my beauty and how I look younger than her. Even though I am a couple of years older. So I resent the notion that I am a used car. I am ever more successful and have over the years accumulated a fair amount of wealth myself. I am just not willing to kill myself to do that now that I have don't have to. I'll work hard, but there are limits because I am a limited resource and I don't want to burn out. And I am not willing to leave here and lose the current money that I am still managing to take in.

Any faults that I have were probably worse when we first met. When I was younger I was far more eager to go out drinking, now I only do that once a week and maybe have a few midweek. I am mature about most things, I studied to maintain competitiveness, I have learned a bit of the language. In many ways I am really quite improved and less naive culturally. Our earlier fights used to be quite feisty, but these days I am quite passive. I once punched my hand through an acoustic guitar. I would never dream of harming my guitar these days. I'm the one that has matured, but she still carries on in the same pedantic, trite and unreasonable ways. She hasn't hit me in these recent fights, but at times she has even rained punches down upon me. Quite feeble punches mind you and I just cover up and pretend I am an old Jones Jr sitting on the ropes. Maybe this is a sign of her developing emotionally or else realising her punching technique hurts her hands more than me (like I say, I am all bones and elbows! :p).

The idea of trading her in for a 22 year old might sound good physically, but I dread the interaction between the grown up me and another immature, potential lunatic. :-\

Anyway, enough with this discussion. That last post was just outright gay.

There were quiet signs that she was trying to call a truce yesterday. I ordered some barbecued chicken for dinner yesterday and she used her card to pay for it and she only scowled at me a few times.

I still don't know why quitting a part time job is so bad, particularly when she was the one that suggested it and she fails completely to answer that question.

When logic fails so badly, then you have to presume there is none. I could understand it if we were struggling and trying to make ends meet, but there is nothing like that.

This little extra free time is actually a good thing because I was hoping to get a couple of papers published before the year is out. I now have the time to polish them up and try and get them submitted. Working a full schedule you simply DON'T have the time to research and write. I prefer to look at the positives and just take another P/T job when it looks right rather than jump into anything.

LOL, I have now just been offered a job in Dubai working for considerably more money than my wife was offered to go to England. :vd:

It seems we have both been offered jobs that want to tempt us away. Like her job, mine would be tax free, free nicely sized apartment and all the company benefits from the airline. It would also allow me to work with one of my best mates who I first met in Korea.

I can't believe the timing of this offer tbh. Beyond freaky. The job won't start until early next year which does actually allow me a chance to tie up all my contracts in a legit way, but at the same time I am quite happy here in Korea. But the truth is, I am earning what I am because of Visa status rather than my qualifications. This would be a chance to go somewhere new and use my qualifications in a setting that will challenge me appropriately. I am kind of tempted.

I'm half tempted to keep the offer secret and just carry on doing what I am doing, but I am half tempted to tell her too. But I also worry about the backlash if I do say something. "Oh so we can do what you want, but not what I want!". And then 10 days of no talking and back and forth. I am quite happy in Korea, but will only take work that I feel is appropriate (ie hours and pay). Staying here is what I prefer, but without a supportive wife it isn't easy. You quit a job and then spend 10 days pissing around because she is sulking. It's kind of crap.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by miles

LOL, I have now just been offered a job in Dubai working for considerably more money than my wife was offered to go to England. :vd:

It seems we have both been offered jobs that want to tempt us away. Like her job, mine would be tax free, free nicely sized apartment and all the company benefits from the airline. It would also allow me to work with one of my best mates who I first met in Korea.

I can't believe the timing of this offer tbh. Beyond freaky. The job won't start until early next year which does actually allow me a chance to tie up all my contracts in a legit way, but at the same time I am quite happy here in Korea. But the truth is, I am earning what I am because of Visa status rather than my qualifications. This would be a chance to go somewhere new and use my qualifications in a setting that will challenge me appropriately. I am kind of tempted.

I'm half tempted to keep the offer secret and just carry on doing what I am doing, but I am half tempted to tell her too. But I also worry about the backlash if I do say something. "Oh so we can do what you want, but not what I want!". And then 10 days of no talking and back and forth. I am quite happy in Korea, but will only take work that I feel is appropriate (ie hours and pay). Staying here is what I prefer, but without a supportive wife it isn't easy. You quit a job and then spend 10 days pissing around because she is sulking. It's kind of crap.

---

I took an class on second language acquisition as an elective when I was finishing my degree this summer and the prof mentioned how much money their is to be made teaching ESL in the UAE. It was actually a pretty interesting class and I've been half-assed looking into ESL teaching jobs. I doubt I'll do it though, I'm leaning towards doing a professional Master's like an MPA...

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by miles

LOL, I have now just been offered a job in Dubai working for considerably more money than my wife was offered to go to England. :vd:

It seems we have both been offered jobs that want to tempt us away. Like her job, mine would be tax free, free nicely sized apartment and all the company benefits from the airline. It would also allow me to work with one of my best mates who I first met in Korea.

I can't believe the timing of this offer tbh. Beyond freaky. The job won't start until early next year which does actually allow me a chance to tie up all my contracts in a legit way, but at the same time I am quite happy here in Korea. But the truth is, I am earning what I am because of Visa status rather than my qualifications. This would be a chance to go somewhere new and use my qualifications in a setting that will challenge me appropriately. I am kind of tempted.

I'm half tempted to keep the offer secret and just carry on doing what I am doing, but I am half tempted to tell her too. But I also worry about the backlash if I do say something. "Oh so we can do what you want, but not what I want!". And then 10 days of no talking and back and forth. I am quite happy in Korea, but will only take work that I feel is appropriate (ie hours and pay). Staying here is what I prefer, but without a supportive wife it isn't easy. You quit a job and then spend 10 days pissing around because she is sulking. It's kind of crap.

---

Funny that you mentioned Dubai, since I just read an interesting article on it. Don't know how much of it is valid though, but an interesting read nonetheless.

The dark side of Dubai - Johann Hari, Commentators - The Independent

Just remember don't get into debt over there (Dubai).;D

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by miles

LOL, I have now just been offered a job in Dubai working for considerably more money than my wife was offered to go to England. :vd:

It seems we have both been offered jobs that want to tempt us away. Like her job, mine would be tax free, free nicely sized apartment and all the company benefits from the airline. It would also allow me to work with one of my best mates who I first met in Korea.

I can't believe the timing of this offer tbh. Beyond freaky. The job won't start until early next year which does actually allow me a chance to tie up all my contracts in a legit way, but at the same time I am quite happy here in Korea. But the truth is, I am earning what I am because of Visa status rather than my qualifications. This would be a chance to go somewhere new and use my qualifications in a setting that will challenge me appropriately. I am kind of tempted.

I'm half tempted to keep the offer secret and just carry on doing what I am doing, but I am half tempted to tell her too. But I also worry about the backlash if I do say something. "Oh so we can do what you want, but not what I want!". And then 10 days of no talking and back and forth. I am quite happy in Korea, but will only take work that I feel is appropriate (ie hours and pay). Staying here is what I prefer, but without a supportive wife it isn't easy. You quit a job and then spend 10 days pissing around because she is sulking. It's kind of crap.

---

Mate ,you can have loads of wives over there. Its a win /win. Miles 1, miles won, miles 1,Miles won for as long as your imagination goes for :cool:
They know what they are doing on a personal level these Muslims.Get a tea towel around your head son and go for it.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Howlin Mad Missy

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by KKisser

if only she's a member of a forum like you miles then you can read what her issues really are.

communication is one of the more important elements of a relationship and in your case it seems to have bogged down.

---

Exactly.

---

What?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Andre

Mate ,you can have loads of wives over there. Its a win /win. Miles 1, miles won, miles 1,Miles won for as long as your imagination goes for :cool:
They know what they are doing on a personal level these Muslims.Get a tea towel around your head son and go for it.

---

I totally agree...the wifey may nag you in Korea but that would be a very poor decision to nag a man in the Middle East #1 The husband can always get a new wife #2 Sharia law is not a friend to the ladies.

Buy her a burqa and say "Surprise honey! We're moving to a glorious land where you have to dress like Cousin It from The Adams Family and keep your trap shut or risk a flogging or a stoning!" ......the bad news is they may look down on you drinking alcohol, but hell you could always pick up hashish or opium....that'll do just fine!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by El Kabong

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Andre

Mate ,you can have loads of wives over there. Its a win /win. Miles 1, miles won, miles 1,Miles won for as long as your imagination goes for :cool:
They know what they are doing on a personal level these Muslims.Get a tea towel around your head son and go for it.

---

I totally agree...the wifey may nag you in Korea but that would be a very poor decision to nag a man in the Middle East #1 The husband can always get a new wife #2 Sharia law is not a friend to the ladies.

Buy her a burqa and say "Surprise honey! We're moving to a glorious land where you have to dress like Cousin It from The Adams Family and keep your trap shut or risk a flogging or a stoning!" ......the bad news is they may look down on you drinking alcohol, but hell you could always pick up hashish or opium....that'll do just fine!

---

HAha Ive never linked the Burka and cousin IT ! hahha

And now as right as rain again? Honestly, this is all a bit of a mind fuck! I kind of half hope she will be mad just to keep things stable. Let's see how long this one lasts then....

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by CFH

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by miles

LOL, I have now just been offered a job in Dubai working for considerably more money than my wife was offered to go to England. :vd:

It seems we have both been offered jobs that want to tempt us away. Like her job, mine would be tax free, free nicely sized apartment and all the company benefits from the airline. It would also allow me to work with one of my best mates who I first met in Korea.

I can't believe the timing of this offer tbh. Beyond freaky. The job won't start until early next year which does actually allow me a chance to tie up all my contracts in a legit way, but at the same time I am quite happy here in Korea. But the truth is, I am earning what I am because of Visa status rather than my qualifications. This would be a chance to go somewhere new and use my qualifications in a setting that will challenge me appropriately. I am kind of tempted.

I'm half tempted to keep the offer secret and just carry on doing what I am doing, but I am half tempted to tell her too. But I also worry about the backlash if I do say something. "Oh so we can do what you want, but not what I want!". And then 10 days of no talking and back and forth. I am quite happy in Korea, but will only take work that I feel is appropriate (ie hours and pay). Staying here is what I prefer, but without a supportive wife it isn't easy. You quit a job and then spend 10 days pissing around because she is sulking. It's kind of crap.

---

I took an class on second language acquisition as an elective when I was finishing my degree this summer and the prof mentioned how much money their is to be made teaching ESL in the UAE. It was actually a pretty interesting class and I've been half-assed looking into ESL teaching jobs. I doubt I'll do it though, I'm leaning towards doing a professional Master's like an MPA...

---

Yes, the top jobs pay really well, but you pretty much need a masters plus experience to get them. I guess you need to adapt to the culture somewhat and also learn to deal with the weather!

ESL is always an option without the MA though. Many countries will accept a simple BA in anything and a clean background check. I don't think those people are neccessarily effective teachers though. I certainly wasn't when I started out, but if there is a demand the jobs are there.

I did a bit of research looking at ESL in the UK and it's one of the reasons I don't want to return home at all. The money simply isn't there.

I have just been given an apology and been told that she has just been a bit depressed. She thought that me earning a lot of money was one way of justifying her not been able to advance her career and I kind of let her down in that regard. Anyway all seems to be relatively peaceful again and I am going to buy dinner later. She admits that pressuring me to take the first new job that came along was wrong.

Like I say, I am always willing to work hard, but no late finishes and no random bullshit in terms of organisation. Will just take a few weeks picking and choosing to get that right.

I've no idea what to think about that Dubai offer tbh. Will have to sit and stew on that one a while.

You need a reality tv show bro. It would be cool to see a stressed out Englishman in Korea, getting nagged by his foreign wife speaking the Queen's English and having an argument with her. Some good hilarity would ensued on such a show.

Honestly, you could make a pretty unusual film about my experiences here. Some of it would be very funny, but all at the expense of my sanity and peace of mind.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by miles

I have been married now for just over five years and one thing that has really started to bug me is the incessant nagging. Since coming back from my holiday, the nagging is something that has really begun to stand out. It's all the time now. Honestly, anything I say right now gets turned into a verbal sparring match. I will say something, anything, and it will get turned into WW3. The same thing happened today. I simply said that I didn't want to do an early morning company class (starting 8am) and would much rather just work my regular teaching hours (between 10 and 6) and immediately she was on me calling me lazy, saying that I am useless, and telling me that she will never find me extra work again. Blah, blah, blah. A lot of histrionics over nothing. This time I put my foot down and simply told her to stop talking because I was just not in the mood for another row. Thereafter I simply ignored her and she stormed off to her room and here I am looking at a nice quiet night in the living room. I'm not complaining.

Ever since coming back from holiday she has been like this. The holiday was quite nice actually, but faltered a little towards the end which I had put down to PMS, but it's been getting progressively worse ever since. If I complain that it's too hot, I am always complaining. If I have a drink, I get called a drinking machine. If I wear a nice shirt and accidentally spill some dinner on it, I am in the doghouse. Today I went to work and my umbrella got stolen. I had to come home in the rain and my shirt was creased and drenched. It had been freshly ironed so I hurriedly put it in the bottom of the washing machine in fear of being accused of abusing my newly ironed clothes. That's just sad really.

One thing that annoyed my wife is that her company offered her a six month position in the UK and she asked me to drop all my contracts and just fly over there with her and do that. But I put my foot down and said no. I mean, no way will I just jump and leave like that. Korea is no heaven, but I have my responsibilities and ties here and to be honest I am more than settled. Maybe this is her sweet revenge, but if so it is extremely childish and tbh, I am getting towards the end of my tether with the whole shenanigans. It's not the easiest of things living overseas and if your supposed partner is then also trying to make everything you do so difficult then it leads to a lot of misery. I guess I'm just not very happy right now which is a shame because I really enjoyed my holiday and have come back quite refreshed. I haven't mentioned politics once since coming back!

So a thread about being nagged at and being in the doghouse. What are your experiences and how did you deal with it?

---

Either I just say "Enough Already!" if that doesn't work I give the old "Will you please SHUT UP" If that does not work I will see if I can just get done what she won't shut up about...OR in the worst case I will just go out and stay until she starts wondering what the fuck I am up to and calls me where I tell her when she can get off her bullshit bitching I will come home if not thenh I will be by in the morning to grab clothes before work.....

BUT from what yu describe she has a bit of a bug up inside her and is pissed about something...I would just ask what the issue is before it gets out of control....Constant arguing like that usually ends up with stuff being said that no one meant that can not be taken back forever causing a strain on things

one of my good friend did work 2 years full time in Dubai and abu Dhabi and quite frankly, beside money, this place is not very much interesting for more than 2-3 months,, the time to make A camel"s run in the desert and to visit around. Most thing are prohibited over here, just saying "fuck" can lead you to jail or to lose your visa and most entertainment are VERY limited and under cover as there are many illegal things. Money can be exciting but I would consider every other options before moving over here from what I've heard.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Nameless

one of my good friend did work 2 years full time in Dubai and abu Dhabi and quite frankly, beside money, this place is not very much interesting for more than 2-3 months,, the time to make A camel"s run in the desert and to visit around. Most thing are prohibited over here, just saying "fuck" can lead you to jail or to lose your visa and most entertainment are VERY limited and under cover as there are many illegal things. Money can be exciting but I would consider every other options before moving over here from what I've heard.

---

I don't think I would be able to deal with the weather either. One plus is that the supermarkets apparently stock a lot of British food. The supermarkets out here are beyond shit and are not beffiting a developed country. Korea is developed because of the wealth of the chaebol, but in terms of other stuff I don't regard it as developed at all.

Tbh, I think staying here is better. I have permanent residency status and I'm free to move between jobs unlike other foreigners. I can earn more money here than anywhere else because of that, but it just means taking my time picking and choosing my jobs. I'm going to apply for some university jobs here and build up my resume. And maybe take on pt jobs to further supplement my income. That will work out better than needing to go anywhere else.

The wifes mood seems to have come back to earth again, so fingers crossed that things are on the mend again.